Newly appointed Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol won’t be required to relocate to the company’s headquarters in Seattle when he joins the coffee giant next month.
Instead, Starbucks says Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks’ head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet, according to the new CEO’s offer letter, which was made public in an SEC filing last week.
In his new role, Niccol, 50, will be paid a base salary of $1.6 million annually and has the opportunity to earn an annual cash bonus that could range from $3.6 million to $7.2 million depending on his performance. He will also be eligible for annual equity awards worth up to $23 million.
Oh cool, more corporate waste…
Brian Niccol “Guess what plebs? I commute over 1,000 miles one way to get the office. If I can do it, so can you. Get your asses into the office, plebs.”
Send the corporate jet to pick me up and I will consider it.
Best we can do, is offer you a 2 hour commute stuck in heavy traffic.
“It’s becoming increasingly common because we’re still in a competitive labor market,” he explains. “Executives aren’t accepting job offers if flexibility isn’t on the table.”
CEOs of major corporations aren’t a “labor market”. They’re a bunch of narcissists looking for their next hit. They won’t accept working conditions that don’t favor them because they a) don’t need to work and b) their motivation is being a business king and the more ridiculous the package is, the better it feels. It’s just a MBA delusion that he has a special brain worth tens of millions of dollars more than promoting some underling. That the market thought 10% of Chipotle’s entire value was this guy’s special brain is just insanity.
CEOs only need to know one thing and it has fuckall to do with competency.
All a CEO needs to have is access to capital. That’s it. He just needs to know all the rich people. That’s it. In our society, where profit is sanctified and the quality of your life is less important than their toilet paper, where money and production is fucking WORSHIPPED, of course that’s all you’d need to know.
The climate crisis could be solved with probably just a single guillotine.
Axes are more portable, and the turn around rate is faster. Just saying.
I’m intrigued by both of your suggestions and wish to subscribe to your newsletters.
“Your honor, the defendant qualified their statement with the phrase “just sayin.” Clearly they cannot be prosecuted and this case must be dismissed.
They also have reduced staffing requirements.
Nah, have a little decorum. Pollution and deliberate ecocide are probably some of the most destructive crimes in history after all.
Well, in that case, May I interest you in an executioner’s sword?
Now you’re taking sense. Great compromise!
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We’re not calling it supercommuting, insufferable wankers made that word up about themselves
I prefer cuntycommuting
Bold of you to assume the people who replace the billionaires we kill would be better
They never said the guillotine wouldn’t be a permanent fixture.
Every week just prune the richest one.
and a sharpening stone is pretty cheap.
alternatively, a blunt blade might be a better motivator.
I used to have a bagel guillotine. Sometimes it would catch and you’ll have to take a second go at it, but you know what? It always made it through in the end.
I’m sorry, do you need to be reminded how the French Revolution ended?
…with cookies and hearty “Well done, lads”?
Right after the revolution leader and most of its top brass got sent through the guillotine, yeah
In Ministry for the Future, the opposition to this garbage is successful by bringing down a few choice flights with drone swarms, then announcing more will come to those who dare.
Starbucks is anti-climate pass it on.
Supercommuting, instead of teleworking because that would embolden employees to ask for full-time teleworking.
Can’t have the plebs think they have some power.
I have no idea who this guy is.
And already I hate him.
He’s from Chipotle, so Starbucks basically just replaced their top guy with a clone.
I bet he won’t be fired if his plane is delayed 20 minutes. Unlike a barista who got stuck in traffic.
This is really going to go a long way to make up for all the lost pollution from all the folks that started working from home recently
Well fuck you and your co² farting anus, Brian Niccol!
“if this is my commute, there’s no reason for anyone to be remote”
Hmm i live 1000 miles from work, which do i do: literally use technology that works at the speed of light(internet) or burn a shitton of fuel and propel myself at high speeds towards the building where i work. I think the answer is obvious.
Or third option, move. And there’s always the default option, don’t work there
We don’t need to make up new words to normalize an obnoxious asshole exercising his wealth in a vulgar display of maleficence towards the environment.
10$ says Elon Muks will try to make SUPERCOMMUTE happen 🤪🫠🙄
No, he’ll call it something much stupider like “Gigacommute”
Xommute
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If you look at his flight records, motherfucker does not even supercommute. Many of his flights are simply across town. It’s nuts how wasteful he is with flying.
A few questions here:
- Why the fuck does Starbucks have a corporate jet? I know they’re a global company, but surely the CEO doesn’t need to be abroad that often?
- Why would a company subsidise travel for a CEO to the tune of (likely) as much as he would get paid in a salary? If I were to tell my employer “I want to supercommute it’ll cost you $100k” I’d be laughed out. Hell, if I asked for $100 I’d probably be laughed out of the room…
Jets aren’t even remotely cheap to run. They cost millions, they cost tens of thousands to operate, and that doesn’t include personnel costs or costs regarding runway rental or the kind of shit a CEO would need while in the air.
Also, how many million tonnes of CO2 will this dump into the high atmosphere every year?
This is an unfortunately normal perk for c-level execs at major corporations. I’d be surprised if Starbucks only had one. He also most certainly has a driver (likely with military experience), and an apartment at the Ritz or similar in Seattle - all covered by the company.
For the reasons you mentioned I would hope this just means chartering flights. Owning a jet seems like the entire purpose is to flaunt how much money you can spend frivolously.
Guess what C-level execs like to do?
There was a real estate group I was interviewing with a while ago that was not particularly big and they owned a jet. Obviously not a 737 or anything but Bombardier makes jets that are smaller. Still expensive to run but C-level execs have convinced idiot boards members (who also ride around on the keys) that they are totally necessary.
Psssst… Starbucks… You’re doing it wrong.
CARBON: 50 percent reduction in greenhouse gas emissions in Starbucks direct operations and value and supply chain.
