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Where tf is dr house
This vexes me.
Seriously…him and Dr. Strange alone would all but garuentee your safety.
Off the top right.
It’s also inexplicably missing the coolest one (Dr Victor von Doom)
Doctor Evil didn’t go to Evil Medical School for six years to be put in the section with no training, thank you very much!
Why is Doctor Strange to the left of JD from Scrubs? Isn’t he a world renown surgeon or something? Does that count for less because he hasn’t had medical practice lately?
Not to mention less formal training than Dr. Quinn? At least he’s studied modern medicine and has specialty years after surgery residency.
I’ll be honest, I don’t recognize that character. What are they from?
From the show Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Quinn,_Medicine_Woman ran 1993-1998.
If I had to guess it’s because JD is more of a general physician. Strange was a neurosurgeon before the accident that crippled his hands and led him to study the Mystic Arts. So not only can he not perform surgery anymore without magic but if he was working on you, then you were pretty much in life or death territory anyway.
Dr. Strange had his injury in 1963, he probably went through medical school in the 1950’s and has been studying magic, not medicine ever since. His techniques and knowledge are extremely out of date.
Probably the same reason Zoidberg is considered to be on the same level of medical competence as Dr. Dre (Zoidberg literally doesn’t know human anatomy), and a higher one than Dr. Pepper (Which is genuinely responsible for less death than Zoidberg is), and Dr. Evil (Went to Evil Medical School)
And even then all of these people are probably better doctors than Doc, the dwarf who lived back in the days when washing your hands was considered a “Rookie mistake no self-respecting gentleman in the medical profession would ever make”
And the Medical Profession consisted of people wearing scary crow masks who just spread disease around and kill people, fully believing that disease was caused by not saying “Bless you” when someone sneezes
Dr Oz and Dr Phil are not doctors and should be to the left and south of Dr Pepper. Neither has a license and both are so full of shit their advice has probably killed people.
Oz is a Doctor, and was a very good one who got corrupted in his aim for fame and fortune. Part of his tragedy is that if he’d shut up and just do his actual doctor work only he’d be a benefit to society, not the detriment he is now. It’s important to know that he’s worse because he had actual skill as a heart surgeon. Quoting wiki:
In 1982, he received his undergraduate degree in biology magna cum laude[3] at Harvard University.[31] … In 1986, he obtained MD and MBA degrees from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine[30] and Penn’s Wharton School.[34][35]
Edit: also, as far as I can tell, still performing heart surgeries, so should still be licensed. Still a piece of shit who should stick to surgeries. Lots of people good at 1 thing think they’re geniuses at everything.
After hearing the pure stupidity that comes out of his mouth I wouldn’t let that fruitcake supplement salesman near me.
deleted by creator
No Dr. House?
And Oz should be right on top of the Run For Your Life because he’s not fictional and should know better.
Doctor House would be top right but partly because you wouldn’t need to run very far.
That depends on what drugs he’s on
Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have done far more harm than Dr. Pepper could ever aspire to.
I would trust Hannibal Lector more than Oz, frankly.
At least Lecter is honest about who he is!
House is basically overlapping McCoy
Astoundly, McCoy has a better bedside manner.
I don’t think McCoy is ever depicted as particularly brilliant. He’s just a competent doctor from a time with more advanced technology.
I don’t know, he came up with novel cures for things multiple times on planets never before visited. He did it in Miri despite the virus being completely novel.
Dr. Zoidberg is a fully-qualified medical doctor, though, and a good one at that. Just not for humans. Even so, he’s quite good, given that he hasn’t killed any of his human patients, though they may come out a little different.
As is Doctor Who, who has high qualifications in literally everything. It took them a few goes, but they got there in the end.
“I’ve probably lost more patients than he’s ever treated.”
Didn’t Zoidberg once successfully attach Fry’s head to Amy’s body (or something like that)? Not sure any of the others on that chart have done something that impressive.
That said, how much do you trust your life with Dr. Who? I’ve seen many characters die while trusting him, and that’s just the ones on screen.
I’m not saying he is a bad doctor, but he was caught on film losing several sidekicks/ allies. If you’re caught on film doing something, you probably do it a lot.
“If you get caught doing crack on the news, you are a crackhead. It’s not like a “oh this was just the one time” situation. You do it enough you get caught on the news doing it.” -Josh Johnson
Edit: just looked for an answer of what the mortality rate is for the Doctor and it’s 42% according to a reddit question. At some point the authorities would be called in because 42% is more than just a “licence revoked” number.
Where’s Dr. House?
Right? This is an invalid graph without Dr. House.
I hope OP doesn’t have lupus
It’s never lupus
Except that time it was lupus
When you hear hoofbeats, think lupus, not zebras.
Somewhere between top-right and top-middle depending on how revoked his license is at the given moment and how much vicodin he is on.
Does the amount of vicodin he’s using put him higher or lower on the graph?
Top right, about 20 feet outside the graph.
Calm down Cuddy.
And Doc Cottle
I cannot believe he survived the whole series, seems like someone who should have died near the end of s3 just to add to the atmosphere of desperation.
He was kept alive by his steady diet of 200 cigarettes per day.
HOW DID HE EVEN GET CIGARETTES!!!
They are starving and eating paper but somehow they kept tobacco plants and all the mechanisms for drying and curing them, which would have taken enough resources to keep hundreds of people alive!?!?!
I always used to joke that one of the ships in the fleet was a cargo ship full of cigarettes.
Came here for this haha
I would trust J.D. with my life way over Dr. Seuss.
J.D. is a fool, but he’s also a really good doctor.
Depends on which season. Are you extrapolating current JD? Or can we pick season 1 JD, where he has a lot of knowledge, but very little experience, and wasn’t a very good doctor yet?
SO’S YOUR FACE!
He’s also not a racist!
Of course not! He’s Vanilla Bear to Turk’s Chocolate Bear!
(We don’t discuss Caramel Bear.)
Dr. Evil didn’t spend 6 years in evil fricking medical school to be put in no professional training
Just goes to show, it’s a hard knock life
Top right corner, there’s a Collage Humor watermark.
It explains why this is so inaccurate
- Dr. Phil has training that’s a shock?
- Bro I’d trust Dr. Pepper more than a lot of people on this list
I’d gladly trust drinking a Dr pepper over anything to do with Dr Phil or Dr oz
THANK YOU. Why is Dr. Pepper the absolute lowest you can go on this chart, lower than Dr. Evil lol
I don’t even like Dr Pepper and I’d rather drink a six pack than watch either of those assholes.
No Doctor Nick…?
HI, EVERYBODY!
Hello Dr Nick!
How in the heckin’ is JD below a dwarf, a mad scientist tinkerer, and a random catchy band?
He is a caring, trained, and competent doctor who will put his pride and personal life aside to help a patient.
But he did put a penny in the door.
But not intentionally
That’s always the excuse, isn’t it?
At some points he’s arguably the best diagnostician at Sacred Heard.
Given the same medical technology I would place JD the highest and furthest right.
Not just because I like the character but because he truly does give a shit about his patients.
Dr. Strange should have more formal training for his surgery specialty. Did JD specialize or did he just stay in internal medicine?
Internal medicine, and then eventually started teaching medical school classes too. Yes, I did watch the shitty Scrubs final season reboot.
So Dr. Strange is trained in neurosurgery, which is a 7 year residency compared to 3-4 years for internal medicine. He may have also done a neurosurgery fellowship for 2 years.
He definitely should be higher than J.D. if we’re going just by special issues. I would rather have him overseeing my brain surgery than J.D.
But if I was in the hospital for a more common ailment, I’ll take an expert in internal medicine over a neurosurgeon.
In fact, if I was in the hospital for, for example, getting poisoned by something and no one can figure out what, I’d pick an expert in internal medicine over a neurosurgeon.
JD should definitely be higher than Strange on the Y axis. He cares way more for his patients.
Dr. Strange, if he’s practicing medicine, might decide not to try and save you (he was a neurosurgeon IiRC) because it would hurt his stats.
JD would try.
I honestly can’t recall if JD specialised.
But that’s the Y axis. Training is on the X. As a neurosurgeon, he’s had at least 2 more years of training than JD, possibly a lot more.
I don’t know if Dr. Strange would technically be lower because he hasn’t been practicing for a long time? But I see what you mean.
Dr. Who and Dr. Strange both have a shitload of training…
Oh yeah, Dr. Strange was literally one of the world’s best surgeons, right?
Yup, and Time Lords in general probably had several medical degrees worth of education.
The Doctor barely squeaked through his Time Lord training (I think the quote was “53% on his second try.”)
They still passed the academy, though. That’s probably incredibly good by human standards, given that Time Lord studies encompasses literally everything.
I vaguely remember from my Dr. Who phase one of the doctors confirming he did get an Earth M.D. at some point
Probably multiple, and can we include other planets? And does a future MD count for more than a past one?
The meme doesn’t specify Earth
The Doctor always lies.
