her, expolde
Join our puplic Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
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hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i’ll add you to the list!
the list as it stands:
- HelltakerHomosexual (9/16 - 9/22)
- GayTuckerCarlson (9/23 - 9/29)
- Luna* (9/30 - 10/6)
- Eco* (10/7 - 10/13)
- oscardejarjayes* (10/14 - 10/20)
* after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
I’ve shared so much random shit about myself on the trans mega and yet sharing my oc’s is still incredibly nerve-wracking
About a month ago, I told my wife she can use he/she/they pronouns for me.
She pretty much exclusively uses she/her and calls me her wife.
Chat, what does this mean?
Farewell, eyeliner. I’ll miss you
i don’t care, i’ll inject the whole fucking vial. this shit ain’t nothing to me, mandamn that girl in the mirror is starting to get an ass, god damn
This is probably silly, but one of my main fears when starting HRT was that it would change my hair color. I have really deep red hair, and I already felt kinda lucky that I got to keep it into adulthood since a lot of people lose a lot of the color very early, same as how there’s way more kids than adults with bright blonde hair.
No sign of change yet though! Well on my way on the redhead twink to redhead doll pipeline
self-harm
The anger and frustration got the better of me today, and now I have to go to the ER. I didn’t actually mean to cut that deep.
I don’t need this in my life, I already have enough to deal with. I really should stop cutting myself. I didn’t want to stop before, but now it’s gone too far.
dysphoria
Today has been very iffy for me, then I talked for a little bit and holy shit my voice is awful. Feel really sad about it now. I’ve never done any voice training, no clue when I’ll actually start.
Also the hair on my arms is starting to come back, little black stubs right now. Egh.
At least the really bad thoughts/fantasies are gone right now, those are always really upsetting.
I tried making air fried beer donuts and ended up making beer biscuits instead, think it was because I forgot to add butter. Softest biscuits ever, at least I have that going for me.
CW: DIY, PTSD
update on me
spoiler
partner starts new job tomarrow. of course something in the house broke recently but assuming she has steady decent paychecks i can finally get some girl juice and start this thang
still going DIY route just seems safer as far as being on lists but maybe not for medical reasons. still have the option to go the route my co-worker went or contact my ex from high school who is a social worker that helps trans people connect with medical resources. we broke up nearly 2 decades ago and i think im the reason she went into that field so i’m sure she’d be delighted to help
still feel like im making up excuses sometimes but i do have some legit fears i need to overcome first that are rooted in some PTSD stuff
I want to dress cuter but also don’t want to be overtly trans to my class that’s already giving me trouble. Any tips?
Ok. Let me share a few more portraits with you all before I
sleepdo my schoolwork:New and (maybe) Improved
And one of the main characters:
I don’t quite know how to feel about it, and I was running out of time tonight, so these ones are probably more subject to change. I’m not sure if I want to go with that face, or that hair, or those colors to be honest. I just picked something and went with it. I think I still like my first character better, though maybe it’s because she felt easier to design.
Edit: I think the gray color scheme is bothering me, I might have to change it to some sort of color, though I have no idea what. My brain does not process these kinds of things well (I’m not colorblind). Maybe I just need to read some (color) theory, that might help.
So I whipped this up in around 10 minutes before I had to leave for work. Definetly needs some tweaks in the clothing and maybe the hair but I’m liking the direction it’s going in. It’s my first character portrait, so I’m hoping to improve on the next ones.
