Thanks. I needed to hear this. To be honest I find the whole notion really insulting and belittling. I’m alive and thriving. I’m present and happy. Instead of being excited to meet the real me, they’re crying about who I used to be. They don’t trust me or believe me when I say that version was actually factually killing me. They don’t trust me that the real me is the one worth knowing. And I just have to sit here and listen to it.
I’ll definitely be checking these out. 
My husband had a similar reaction when I initially told him. Like your situation, we’re now so much closer than we’ve ever been. Hopefully my mom will get there too.
Yeah it really hurts. I’m not dead, in fact I’m more alive than ever. If they can’t/wont see that then that’s their problem.
I guess my mother’s initial reaction to me being trans was more shock than anything. She initially seemed to take the news really well and was supportive. But I guess she’s been struggling with it ever since. I called her yesterday and she told me how upset she’s been all week. She’s been grieving the death of her son she said, among other things.
She still wants to be a part of my life though , so I imagine that she’ll get over this in time. I hope so. The only other people from my family I care about are my dad and grandma. I haven’t told them yet, but I don’t think either of them will take the news well at all. And I don’t think they will ever accept me. But if that’s what they choose then that’s their choice.
This just has me feeling all blah today.
Are you implying that our posters would lose a posting battle?
I watched a documentary last night on Michele Mouton and I got such gender envy from it. She was an absolute monster of a driver and she was beautiful too. And her codriver was a beast. They made an incredible team.
I highly recommend the documentary if you’re into racing. It’s called “Queen of Speed”. It focuses on her life and the struggles of being a woman in a male dominated space.
Yeah she took the news great. I have my suspicions that she kinda already knew though.
Well, thanks @EstraDoll@hexbear.net for bringing underscores into our lives! Their music slaps. If you have any other suggestions I should listen to, I’m all ears. 
I don’t know if my coping strategies will work for others. But for me the most important thing I do is simply remind myself how far I’ve come. Egg broke 6 months ago, started coming out to everyone pretty much immediately after, started therapy, started hrt. I wouldn’t have done those things if I was The One True CIS™. And every single one of those steps made my life exponentially better than the one before. Before my egg broke, I was on a dark path. Every step I take now brings me farther and farther into the light. Being seen can be scary sometimes if your not used to it, but it’s so worth it. 
It really makes me wonder if human brains are hardwired for some level of reationary thought, even if it’s just internal. Every time I do something big that recontextualises my world going forward, like for instance changing the lens that my mother views me through, I backslide into dysphoric questioning.
And that pattern seems to be a common one, not just for trans folks.
Experience big change -> question big change
It already has! We’re back to our regularly scheduled girling around time. I might even go to the local monthly trans club meetup thingy tonight that I keep avoiding because I’m an anxious coward lol
I think that the refractory people will get shorter the more you do it. Your milage may vary, but from my experience it absolutely does.
Mood. But those days where I question are getting less and less frequent. 48 hours of feeling like crap as a result of coming out to my mom is a fair trade off I think. And it seems like the refractory period is getting shorter too. So that’s a win.
Coming out to my mom was huge to me. We’re very close and we have been my whole life. It was killing me that she didn’t know and now I feel so relieved. I definitely made the right decision to do it. So two days of dysphoric questioning was a fair trade.
I would absolutely buy a dorly mug. Some of those are hilarious. I don’t think anyone would get it but I would and that’d be enough. I suppose I could just have one made.
Yes! Congratulations!
Irrelevant, although you can always do something about it if you wish
I’ve already decided I’m going to be so fucking cute. Even if my brain occasionally tries to convince me otherwise.
If this qualifies as self indulgent and stupid, be self indulgent and stupid. I don’t wanna be anything else
Boy-mode/girl-mode
Hedonism-mode
statements dreamed up by the utterly cisgender
No one is CIS except for me. I am the one true CIS.
For real though, I know I’m trans. My brain is just an asshole sometimes. These feelings will pass, they always do. They just suck while I’m in the middle of them. I do feel much more transy today vs yesterday. So I think I’m already passed the worst of it.
It seems that everytime I take a step forward, I end up having bouts of “am I really trans though” that last for days.
For example, I came out to my mom this last weekend. It went great, I felt great Saturday night and most of Sunday morning. And then the thoughts start to migrate back in. “Am I really trans?” “I just look like a guy” “I think I’m being self indulgent and stupid” type shit. Plus all the hyper fixation on all the things that make me feel like a guy. It’d be nice if it would stop soon. I was enjoying vibing in skirts and being dorlypilled. 
Thank you for talking about underscores a few weeks ago because they rock and Wallsocket has quickly become one of my favorite albums.
1900 comments 
venting
It really is such a weird thing to hear. “It’s like your dead. Waaaaaaa.” Uh newsflash, if I was dead we wouldnt be having this conversation. I’d be, you know, dead. Instead of being excited to meet the real me, I have to listen to her lament her suffering over the loss of the old me. I understand that it’s a common thing for people to feel but for fucks sake it’s incredibly self centered. As if my suffering means nothing. As if my feelings aren’t valid. I should just go back to how they saw me because it was more convenient for their narrow worldview.
Oh no the old you is dead.
Yeah. Good. He sucked and was trying to kill me. Him being dead is kind of the whole point. Glad we could have this discussion.
Sorry I just really needed to vent that.