Treat Defender:

  • “Let people enjoy things”

  • Just wants to shut brain off and relax

  • Shit taste

Treat Assassin:

  • Powerful crit(icism)s

  • Appears out of nowhere and identifies flaws and weaknesses you never would’ve noticed but now can never ignore again

  • Mysteriously fades into shadows when their own treats come under attack

Treat Mage:

  • Nuanced, insightful analysis, can find positive/negative aspects in just about anything

  • Flexible offensive and defensive options

  • Susceptible to bullying, avoids direct confrontation

Treat Paladin:

  • Likes good things

  • Doesn’t like bad things

  • Simple as

  • Nobody wants to hang with them because they feel threatened by their moral superiority and obviously correct takes

Treat Cleric:

  • Long list of rules for not engaging with things that others find frustrating and arbitrary

  • Has one specific domain of treat they enjoy

  • Wouldn’t watch a Miyazaki movie because it’s anime

  • Somehow keeps being right about stuff

Treat Warlock:

  • “So bad it’s good,” cult classics

  • Will happily explain how their favorite treat is problematic in ways you never would’ve considered

  • Lack of practical effects their third biggest issue with capitalism

  • Nobody told them irony is dead

TYS, add your own

  • Llituro [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    3·
    2 years ago

    Treat Druid:

    • Can explain in detail the mechanisms of capitalism that make their favorite treat a crime against humanity
    • Smokes too much weed to forget about it all
    • Clinically depressed
    • Only really gets serotonin from the natural world and Cuban progressivism
    • Spends too much time watching the treat warlock explain things
  • JoesFrackinJack [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    3·
    2 years ago

    Treat Orc:

    • Is happy eating slop
    • Doesn’t care about anything or anyone’s treat so long as I have my own
    • Will fight you if you try to talk trash about my slop
    • Expensive treats are gross to me, can’t understand them
  • AFineWayToDie [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    2 years ago

    Treat Monk:

    • Only consumes obscure and esoteric media.
    • Sounds cool in principle, but ends up with utterly insufferable takes on just about everything.
    • Brings up completely random comparisons which almost work, but not quite.
    • Never wins an argument. Just keeps going until everyone else gets bored and leaves.
  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    2 years ago

    I wanna be a treat bard

    • loudly sing the praises of my favorite treat, even if it’s something popular
    • get people excited to share the love of my treat
    • pretends my treat is more intellectual/refined/tasteful than it actually is
    • annoying/useless
  • Soap_Owl [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    2 years ago

    Treat Barbarian.

    • fuck you and fuck your treats.
    • Holy shit bubbles are awsome. We are going to play with bubbles now.
    • I found a stick

  • ElGosso [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    I’m a treat berserker - I consume them uncontrollably and then become disproportionately angry with myself about it

    • riseuppikmin [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      2·
      2 years ago

      Reminder (if you’re in a hellhole where a VPN is needed for torrenting) to bind your network adapter in qbittorrent to your VPN so that in the event your VPN drops it doesn’t automatically fail over into the host (“real”) network interface and expose your ip for copyright claims.

      This is found under settings -> advanced -> network Interface.

      Also reminder that any game that you definitely legally own that only uses steamdrm can be played offline by using the Goldberg Steam emulator. Check the readme on that project page for more information/instructions.

        • riseuppikmin [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          1·
          2 years ago

          I really should spend some time to get into the better private trackers (MaM is the only one I’ve used).

          My advice still stands for anyone using public trackers.

          • nat_turner_overdrive [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
            1·
            2 years ago

            The private tracker ecosystem used to be so much more vibrant and easy to get into. Trackers like red with their weird interview shit are just about gatekeeping, that shit’s for nerds. Cool trackers hand out freeleech tokens or don’t give a shit about your ratio unless it’s award winningly bad.

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    Treat Blood Mage:

    • can articulate what treats and behaviors are associated with characteristics (BP) and bloodwork results (triglycerides, cortisol)
    • affects all party members with Doom status
    • after heavy intake of sodium, has precognitive and remote viewing clairvoyance during Salt Dreams
    • encyclopedic knowledge of action/adventure movies from 1980-1999
  • CriticalOtaku [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    Treat Samurai:

    • Specialises in replica katana

    • Will bend over backwards to justify the worst excesses in treats “just because they’re from superior nihonjin” while denouncing western treats even when they’re functionally the same

    • Has a city to burn

  • crime [she/her, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    I vibe with treat cleric so hard but I’m gonna go with…

    Treat Druid

    • thinks if they make their own versions of treats, the treats won’t be categorized as treats
    • fridge full of Mystery Jars™. Is it a propagated yeast culture for home brew? Is it a variant of simple syrup? Is it bokashi serum? Try it and find out!
    • starting to suspect they’re an unironic posadist
    • constantly trying to get you to start growing your own weed
    • often shares the dubious products of making their own treats
  • ssjmarx [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    Treat Elf

    • Deep analysis of my treats via multiple theoretical frameworks
    • Appreciation for a wide variety of treats, not just the ones I like the most
    • Understanding of the full context and history of treats
    • Haven’t watched or listened to a new treat in at least a decade
  • Cherufe [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    2 years ago

    I was thinking that none of these come even close to describe my complex relationship with treats but then I read Treat Warlock and I realized :stuff:

    • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      1·
      2 years ago

      treat necromancer could also be like someone obsessed with penny dreadfuls or 1920s pulp magazines but in an even weirder non-ironic way

      “yo, you have gotta watch my favorite movie. It’s from 1913, it’s called The Lovely Horse Gallop.”