meow-hug

  • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    11 months ago

    Firstly: is the purple-green-white flag supposed to be genderqueer? Is this a mistake or a deliberate alteration of the flag to distinguish it from the suffragette flag now used by TERFs?

    Secondly: for a lot of these, you kinda have to append, “But what’s wrong with that, anyway?” — which is to say that these stickers question the cishet narrative without questioning the values that created these narratives, and in the process sort of concede that it is bad to be both “slutty” and “picky”; that someone who’s “confused” needs to be paternalized; that “choosing” or “faking” an identity is necessarily a bad thing; and that things that are “new” or “trendy” or “temporary” have no value and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

    I’m sure you could also question the values behind why every “wrong” must be righted, everything “broken” must be fixed, and every “mistake” must be corrected, as well, but in any case: the point is that it’s important to use the “horns of the bull”, as I call it after Shaka Zulu’s military strategy — a sort of rhetorical flanking where you simultaneously question the values and the narratives.

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
      8·
      11 months ago

      in the process sort of concede that it is bad to be both “slutty” and “picky”

      I think the argument is that these are derogatory terms, intended to imply a degree of sexual selfishness.

      The slut narrative is one in which one partner expresses romantic love that the other exploits before tossing the sincere partner aside. I don’t think this describes someone who is pan and genuinely does experience romantic love with a variety of partners. Nor does it describe someone who is exploring sexuality and decides they are not that into you.

      Similarly, “picky” implies a kind of elitism, wherein the partner is never good enough. While asexual describes someone who isn’t particularly erotic.

      These descriptions of sexuality ultimately distinguish between callous treatment of others and internal sexual orientation. Being pan or ace shouldn’t carry a stereotype of being fickle or frigid, because that’s not what they represent.