I’m straight, but 12kg of free, fresh Wisconsin cheese might open me to negotiations.
GOALS
Dating in Wisconsin
You cant just post something wild and not provide a source, I want to read this book.
Looks like “The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft” by Kathryn Paulsen.
I couldn’t verify it but that’s the name I found too.
Edit: goddamn a used mass market paperback copy is $50 on eBay. Nevermind I guess I won’t be getting burned at the stake.
Here is the page:
that got a lot worse in the 2nd sentence
Good old archive.org to the rescue
Still though, I’ve never been a big fan of ebooks. As terminally online as I am, I’ve never been able to get into it.
Just a different vibe I guess
Page 98.
Not with that attitude.
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What!? Witchcraft? Magic? I don’t believe in that bullshit, but you most definitely can win a woman’s heart with cheese. That’s just a scientific fact.
It’s true. I once gave a woman cheese, and we were fucking within 10 minutes.
We also planned to hookup that night already, but it had to be the cheese.
Was it some sort of blind hookup Tinder-like, and the “password” was a real, actual piece of cheese?
Like with spy craft, “I’ll be at the plaza at 10pm, sitting on the bench in front of the fountain. I will be wearing a Gary Coleman “OBEY” t-shirt and carrying a dark green backpack. You will ask me for a piece of cheese”.Nothing like that. I just offered to get some cheese for a pre-hookup snack.
Wanna grab some cheese before we bone?
“Before we bone, I must tell you… I ate radishes earlier. Perhaps you should, too.”
And that’s how you get on equal footing before jumping into the sack.That’s rad… ish
And here I thought I had to share her interests and perform thoughtful acts. Cheat code unlocked.
I mean, if you have a shared interest in cheese this probably counts as a thoughtful act.
I think this can work with men too. I know this because I am a man and love cheese. I love cheese so much that I go through the pain of being lactose intolerant just to eat me some of that cheese.
I hope some insane person has tried all these things.
That would attract far too many women.
That whole page is full of wild shit.
So you’ve tried these techniques and they didn’t work? Or have you not tried them at all?
Bro tried them all but has skill issue
woe is bro
I haven’t tried them all, but I just gave my wife a Kraft Singles slice, and she is completely fascinated with it, going, “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?”
It seems to have worked retroactively since she is now your wife.
Actually, I won her over with flowers…
“You wanna smoke a bowl?”
However, I get her to stay by providing coffee, chocolate, and cheese, so I guess the spell is incomplete in that book, as it only speaks of cheese. And of course, I still bring her fresh flowers. I’m just an old-fashioned guy, I guess.
Are you sure that if you wouldn’t have brought her the chocolate and coffee you wouldn’t be married? Pretty sure just the cheese would’ve worked
That’s not cheese bro. You’re going to polymorph your wife into a goat or something. Don’t mess with the spell.
Shit, if Uncle Fester says something about casting spells and shit, imma listen. How’s Cousin It doin?
“Baby, stop running. I have muenster!”
If she’s running she doesn’t know what muenster is If she does know what it is and still runs, shes possibly insane and you are both better off
I know several women this would work on.
Works gooda enough eh?
Gouda
I always just pick up one of those double-packs of condoms and cheese on date night. You know, the no-Babybel Bundle.
Fellas, if you’re girl is skinny, tall, red , works at a charity to make someone smile 😬, is. Obsessed with 🅱️heese, that’s not your grill, that’s Elan from family guy! 😤
Burn what after you have perspired heavily in and introduce it to the food or drink of a man?!?
Thank God I kept all the left shoes as a token!
(This is a joke)
useless red circle
I need the text highlighted please, I’ve no idea what anyone is talking about…
