Haven’t shaved in like a week, got a gnarly neckbeard growing: “Fuck this I’m so fucking gross and ugly why even both shaving I’ll just be disgusting to look at no matter what.”
After shaving: “Oh wow I guess I am kind of pretty and I look good when I take care of myself”
Proceed to not shave for another week. Rinse and repeat.
“I am insecure about being ugly, therefore I will master my ugliness by forcing myself to be ugly.”
I’m getting this from reading the wikipedia page on the compulsion to repeat so take it how you will. I may be in a similar situation to you.
me_irl except I don’t even look that much better after shaving.
I just embrace the beard but I can’t decide if I’m one step closer to a Baltimore maryland style (the contrapoints character from 2019 yes i know don’t @ me) NB gender bliss or if I’m just too lazy and insecure about my face to shave it regularly. The self loathing is present regardless but I felt really deeply uncomfy the last time I was 100% clean shaven (halloween 1-2 yrs ago)