Not to say that one mustn’t date outside their social class. But it feels like it causes stress with expectations and the cultural differences. The poorer partner will have more responsibilities with taking care of family, and possibly more day to day stress, which the posher partner might not be able to have any empathy for. It seems like richer people do leisure better, and I often hear the richer partner complain that “my gf/bf doesn’t do anything”. Well they don’t have the material ability to kite surf or travel internationally. Seeing each other’s respective living spaces can be a shock for someone who’s used to a settler level of comfort.
I’ve definitely dated quite well off people in the past, and it didn’t go well. One woman used to insist on showing me her paystub every fortnight?? Another guy would take me to posh restaurants but then get paranoid we’d be seen. Not to say that I’m perfect, I definitely used to look for people with similar degree levels when I was dating.
More power to those that can transcend it all. Sometimes it feels like only the super rich can do it well, as they can just buy the other partner’s parents a new home and make all the problems go away with money.
Communism would make dating easier.
The only reason to date a rich person is so you can get into their will, murder them, and then use the proceeds to fund the revolution.
When I was in my twenties I dated a rich woman for a bit. I just wanted sex because that’s where my head was at, at the time. Despite scratching that itch and not being even remotely leftist at the time, I found her attitude towards money utterly disgusting and that made me call the whole thing off. She was suing both her brother and her father over some bullshit inheritance dispute from some dead aunt. Yucky yucky people
I know people who know rich people, and sometimes I end up socializing with rich people as a result. Briefly, anyway. They do just give off bad vibes like all the time. One time I approached a conversation that had one such rich lady involved and she was talking about how she’s not leaving her daughters any money and thinks they should work for it. (Where is that money going to go? Idk I didn’t ask)
Going to her dog. Actually probably a charity to solve problems that would be solved by ending rich people.
Ya, every relationship, friendship or dating, I’ve had with a rich person became yucky. There’s sometimes a point before 24 when kids of rich parents may not yet be terrible, but it never lasts.
I’m in China at the moment and most of the westerners I meet are rich libs. Quite a few of them have been extremely condescending towards China and downright rude in most cases.
Anyway, I’m quite amiable so they make friends with me and usually on day we part ways they get “the talk”, where they find out I’m a commie. I take great delight in likening the west to a sinking ship and China to a rising star. I’ll explain to them everything I know about the United States’ actions in South East Asia during the 20th century, and so far I’ve had zero push back because anything they say in response is purely vibes based. I explain that the evidence is s before their eyes and that they know it’s true, but that they are clinging to this false belief that the west is just inherently better and cannot possibly be surpassed.
8 times so far in 2 weeks
I’m guessing that white dudes in Asia are worse than at home??
Quite a few of them have been extremely condescending towards China and downright rude in most case
This is enough to make me hate someone, although I’m not judging you for having a convo with them. I’m just old now, and have no patience anymore. Tbh I was a lot like you in my twenties.
I’ll explain to them everything I know about the United States’ actions in South East Asia
I want to say that it’s impossible to accept the facts that you’re part of an imperialist project when you’re actively benefiting from it. This has just been my experience. I’ve have these convos hundreds of times, and the best result would be that the posh person gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject.
I’m 36 and travelling with other people. I’m not giving the rude people both barrels from day one simply because I don’t want to make a scene. I want to enjoy myself and starting fights is going to wind me up. But equally if these subjects come up in conversation I’m not shying away from them.
Comrade, I’d do the exact same thing you would, even at my crotchety old age. You’re not being blamed for not telling everyone off. Just be wary of those people burning you out, that’s all.
That must feel awesome
If you’re a kid of rich parents, the key to staying cool is to reject all financial gifts and refuse a well paying job. It’s made me super cool. I’m the coolest and I regret none of my decisions
Hard agree. Very cool of you, comrade.
Honestly, I was thinking of Engels when I wrote this post. But if your partner isn’t Engels, yes you should probably kill them.
like duh. obviously capitalism suffocates all the love, sensation and everything that is good out of romance like it does out of every beautiful thing in the world. when marriage and starting a family is the only way to have a halfway stable life (after all other social nets have been destroyed) then all the love gets drained out of any romantic interaction in favor of economic considerations.
communism wouldn’t just make dating easier, it would make love possible for the first time in the world.
not a chance I could relate enough to a leisure-class passive income person. at best I would be a curiosity to them, having worked jobs and lived in communities they build walls to prevent themselves from seeing.
I did know someone that did date a trust fund guy. they were both weirdos imo and in their mid 20s. when she told me he literally did nothing all day except watch DVDs in his lux ass downtown apartment and wait for her to come home, I said,
“If I was rich as fuck enough to set up my kid for life, I would make it so the trust ended when they hit 30 and all the money went to charity or something. just totally pull the rug out and make it so they have no idea it’s coming.”
the other poverty wage people nearby started laughing and she asked “why?” I said something like “it would build character and teach them a lot about life.” and she looked at me like I had driven a tank through her dream house.
I wasn’t even a leftist back then, but I had just started intersecting with the mega rich 1% that orbit the non-profit/charity machine. and their aloof decadence in the midst of so much deprivation and struggle made me so angry.
I’m a white collar labor aristocrat, but I still have trouble relating to real PMC people. There’s some kind of “every interaction must signal or produce status” thing they have going on. When I first noticed it, I put it down to me being neurospicy, but I get along fine with eg public school teachers, so I think there has to be a class aspect.
Have you read the tyranny of merit? It’s not materialist analysis at all but it’s relevant for understanding the modern self-image of the “PMC” class.
Added to TBR, thanks.
neurospicy
yoink’d
mega rich 1% that orbit the non-profit/charity machine
Ya they’re unavoidable there. They’re basically paying cool people to be their friends.
they were both weirdos imo and in their mid 20s
Bet that he’s a total shithead now. Probably a massive chud with a particular right-wing thing that he’s pushing over everyone.
Honestly, that is probably the best thing a trust fund kid could do.
One woman used to insist on showing me her paystub every fortnight??
pure freakazoid behavior
Death to America
I remember reading that class is/was/has been one of the largest predictors of relationships lasting long.
One woman used to insist on showing me her paystub every fortnight??
Reverse findom thing sound kinda’ nice.
“I’m gonna pay your rent, and you’re gonna let me because I’m your goddess”
Maybe I’m not as gay as I thought… she single then, or?
dear god i see what you have done for other people etc etc
I grew up poor, like, housing projects when things were good, couch surfing when they weren’t, and my wife grew up pretty solidly middle class and sometimes realizing how different our understanding of little things is because of that is amusing.
It would probably be a lot harder if we were still dating and had really different incomes but we’ve never been that far off, and at this point our finances are 100% intermingled anyways.
Have you watched Normal People? It’s on this theme.
Thanks. I’ll check it out.(read the book instead)
Sally Rooney’s Beautiful World, Where Are You? also touches on this theme. Famous writer dates Amazon warehouse worker; passersby are confused.
Nice. I’ll put this on my list.
Have you read Stoner by John Williams? Very different vibe but very good for similar and yet very different reasons.
Love, love, love that book. And good call; I forgot about that aspect of it.
As a result, posh rich daughters failed to meet posh rich men, and married commoners instead… Such marriages caused real harm to the daughter’s brothers and even fathers.
lol rich people get fucked
One woman used to insist on showing me her paystub every fortnight??
astounding behavior. don’t most rich people try to keep that close to the chest?
I’m homeless, which adds difficulty because of another factor—‘power imbalance’ discourse. Even when I don’t fucking care and I don’t need anyone’s precious fucking concern, it’s still a fucking “red flag” nobody will touch.
Definitely true. I’m sorry comrade.
