ratboy [they/them]

  • 26 Posts
  • 604 Comments
Joined 11 months ago
cake
Cake day: August 17th, 2023

help-circle


  • spoiler cw suicidal ideation sad stuff

    It’s probably maybe the Strattera but I’m so sad. I haven’t been able to maintain any friendships my whole adult life. I’ve wasted the past 7 years of my life just working. Since I moved out of state I have just been miserable. I don’t know how to function like a normal person. I don’t know how to make friends and I don’t even really go out in public anymore except to shop for groceries. Music doesn’t make me happy anymore. I really just don’t wanna do this life anymore but I know I’m too scared to shuffle off. So I just lay down at home as soon as I’m done with work and take up space and air and resources. I’ve gone to therapy for 10+ years, I’m medicated but it just barely makes a dent. I’m so ashamed of myself and I wish I was better. Idk









  • Nazis have always infiltrated youth subcultures as fertile ground for trying to recruit young people; they adopt the style, the music, etc. That’s why people associate skinheads with nazis, when skinhead culture originated as a subculture that embraced black and white unity in working class communities in England. Nazis just co-opted the aesthetics. So this isn’t something specific to the punk subculture.









  • Strattera update that no one asked for:

    Day 12 and yep, still exhausted and sluggish with flat and/or dysthymic affect and even worse motivation than before I started. I already have low blood pressure and I believe it’s made it even lower, gonna check it in a little while. I drank a Celsius and it put me to sleep lol.

    I really, really think I need a stimulant, I know lack of dopamine is part of my problem (anhedonia, motivation, fatigue). I’m gonna stick it out for another 2 weeks but probably will insist on trying my focalin again after this, I have not seen one single improvement in my mood/behavior.

    My friend gave me half an adderall, gonna take that tomorrow and see how I fare and change my dose of strattera to pm, maybe it’ll work better as a night med but I highly doubt it.