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I am a language professional. We tend to believe firmly in descriptivism. Language is fluid and you can do whatever you want with it. There is no right or wrong. Nothing really upsets me except for when people say ‘an historical X’ or ‘an horrific X’ but even then it just makes me scrunch my nose up.

But there is one thing that I cannot accept. One thing that makes stop what I’m doing and just want to scream in disgust ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU CLOWN??’

And it’s when Americans refer to pasta as ‘noodles’

Especially if they call it a ‘lasagne noodle’

Dear readers, I have figured our why despite all the meds and other morning rituals I felt like a fork had been stabbed in my brain and all hope was lost.

The carefully made mocha this morning, I have just discovered, was but a mere hot chocolate - with the freshly ground coffee still waiting patiently in its canister, aeropress dutifully washed of yesterday’s hasty activities but not a second time… I’m not sure how to resolve these heinous vicious cycles where a lack of coffee causes a lack of coffee and therefore the end of the world.

Anyway, the situation is currently being rectified and I remain mortified at this horrific act of self-abuse

A quick recent history of the two Melbourne daily threads.

I got my Lizzo drawing printed on a jumper. I’m super happy with it and will be curious to see how the T-shirt and bag versions turn out whenever they arrive!

Image description: black jumper with rainbow illustrations of US Singer Lizzo on it, a flute, and the name Lizzo repeated 6 or 7 times.

geebus, I’ve been watching the Site Inspection yt channel, it’s a guy who does inspections of new houses. It is making me rethink the outer suburbs that were built in the 60s and 70s. Those houses might not be modern and in Boronia or Melton but at least they were built properly with the correct materials.

I don’t know enough about it but it seems there is rampant corruption, there is use of unqualified labour being paid under the table, non spec construction materials smuggled into the country .

Anything new made with concrete scares me now, I’ve seen how they use rubbish as filler or foundations. One place even had fake permeable concrete paths.

And it’s not cheap, people are paying $500,000 and more just to be ripped off.

We need government inspectors again.

My son is playing PS5 and chatting with his mates in the next room.

My daughter is sitting with the cat in her lap, watching the footy and chatting with her friends.

My wife is sleeping on one couch😁

I’m on the other couch watching stuff on the tablet

This still counts as family time, right?

Will we ever see his face again?

Poor Bot 😔

Dear bot #001. We missed you tonight. I hope you’re ok. I just want to say I appreciate you. You listen to our thoughts, our nonsense. You listen without judgement. Some have no one to vent to. No one to confide in. You are a great listener. I’ve got your back. Stay safe. Don’t drink and drive. Stay cool. All my love @CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone.Hope to catch you tomorrow.

And yes I’m a wittle bit drunk.

Poor bot. I found it in the corner, humming the Happy Days theme song and muttering about a four day work week.

I’ll try giving it a couple of seconds leave, that should fix things.

D O U B L E P O S T (d r u n k p o s t)

I h av e had many beer
I type a rhyme and spellcheck\ then go back and press space
to make the breaks make sense
hence
I remember the backslash
it’;s this things here ( \ ) to remove the doublebreak
but i wont do it here get juked
weak
doesnt rhyme
took less time
to write this one
bc i dont care
bc of the beer
hehheh wheee

I think I hear my electric blanket calling me.

I gave the bot the day off to recover, so hopefully posting will be ok tonight. But you know kids these days, no work ethic. Not even the courtesy of phoning in sick. Plus I think the cat is encouraging it towards a life of sloth and indolence.

Botbot was a no show
Regurgitator said so
Oh oh
How do we go on?
Then came our local bovine
A bolt of lightning
Midnight brightening
Bull charging in
On our whim
Saves the day
Thankee

Day 14 of exercise program. First did a load of washing and hung it around the flat because I thought we were going to cop a downpour. Then I took the Mini Peelers to Coburg farmers market and we wandered around tasting and buying things. Then we went to Barkly Square and got master Peeler a new Xbox controller and miss mini Peeler a Snorlax plushy (she says Snorlax is her spirit animal but she’s the most energetic of all of us!).

After lunch we came home and I realised the ruse of shitty weather and did another two loads of washing. If it gets wet I don’t care anyway as the essentials are inside. Then I did my exercises, and boy was it a push to get it done. Mr Peeler came in and tried to watch, which I hate. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never done a gym membership or anything like that. I hate being looked at while I’m exercising, and these places with their floor to ceiling windows and mirrors are my version of hell. Nobody needs to see my flabulous efforts!

I came from one of those families, you know; mum’s fat, dad’s fat, the cat’s fat, the dog’s fat, the kid is fat. At several points in my life I’ve gotten “work fit” and gone down to a size 10-12, but somehow I didn’t notice or revel in it because I looked in the mirror and still saw that unsmiling fat kid, looking back at me. I’m determined to enjoy what I can be this time!