MOORESVILLE, IN—Purporting to be proud to reside in the U.S., local resident Jeff Chapman, who spends six hours a day posting about how every city in the nation is a third world hellhole, reportedly stated, “America is the greatest country on Earth,” Monday. “Being born in the U.S. is better than winning any lottery,” said Chapman, who had spent nearly two hours on his phone before he even got out of bed that morning, posting in the comments section of a TikTok guide to the best pizza in Chicago about how the urban areas where 80% of the nation’s citizens lived were uninhabitable, anarchic wastelands that should be nuked into oblivion. “America is a beacon of freedom. America is a shining city atop a hill. I thank God every day for our [woke groomer] troops. I will always stand up for America [when I am not busy accusing millions of Americans of being sociopathic drug dealers and pedophiles who should be shot without trial].” At press time, Chapman was praising the nation as the greatest failed state in the history of the world.
wtf is up with that title
Seems like a perfectly normal onion headline to me.
It’s definitely missing some articles.
Rage posters are not known for their perfect sentence construction, I thought it was a deliberate move on the Onion’s part. But it may be a sub-editor’s mistake.
seems accurate to how many real headlines read…
“… Every City in the Third World is a Hellhole. “
It would make more sense as “every city in US is a third world hellhole” otherwise there’s no irony.
Ohh that makes way more sense! I didn’t get that that’s what they were saying.
Okay. Now it’s a funny headline.
We’ve all seen these people. We know they exist and carry on saying stuff like that. The old grandads and uncles who used to mutter these things, often harmlessly or even comically…the internet has brought them together and compounded the problem. Misery loves company.
Can there be hope for improvement? I think these people would have to understand what they’re doing to themselves first, but they seem to prefer things this way. We need some sort of social media rehab or crotchety curmudgeon awareness.
This bullshit propaganda is piped constantly into their eyeballs by Fox News, they get angry (as designed) and take to echo chambers on social media to vent their frustration. Rinse and repeat and Fox and BoomerBook take in that sweet ad money. Pretty simple to see where the source of the river is.
I live just north of Mooresville. Onion or not, this 100% tracks 🤣
