Im mostly just typing this out for myself, but I’ll gladly read any replies. No promises I’ll respond but I’ll at least see it cause im fucking constantly online.
Am I depressed? Yes. I work 70 hours a week, and my gas is still gonna get shut off since i don’t get paid in time to meet the minimum. I cancelled a date tonight because the idea of having to have 1 on 1 time, even with guaranteed sex, fills me with anxiety and get my heart racing in a bad way. I don’t even feel like touching my partner anymore. It feels too much like an expectation to me, something I just kinda do to make them happy. I used to have a high drive, but it seems to have just disappeared over the last few months like a switch was flipped. No change in my brain meds (Lexapro and lamotrigine), hopefully seeing my psych next week.
I have no desire to do anything these days, and everything seems like way more of a chore than it should. By “these days” I mean as far back as my ADHD ass brain can clearly remember. So less than a year but more than 6 months.
I don’t know what else to say here so I’m gonna end the post. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, don’t forget to like and subscribe.
It seems like a good thing to be open about with your partner (with the explanation that it’s probably from work and stress driving you into the ground). You leave it ambiguous, but it might be nice to see them without worrying about the expectations you mention or making a “date” out of it (idk if that factors in for you, it would for me at least).
Thanks comrade. Date was with another person outside my partner (poly type thing going on here). They seem really cool and I’d like to meet them at some point, but today would have been our first hang and i just can’t/couldn’t bring myself to do anything