Sylvia Rivera, born on July 2 in 1951, was a Latina American queer rights activist, member of the Gay Liberation Front, and community worker from the state of New York.
Rivera, who identified as a “half-sister”, participated in demonstrations with the Gay Liberation Front. With her close friend Marsha P. Johnson, Rivera co-founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR), a socialist group dedicated to helping homeless young drag queens, gay youth, and trans women.
At different times in her life, Rivera battled substance abuse and lived on the streets, largely in the gay homeless community at the Christopher Street docks. Her experiences made her more focused on advocacy for those who, in her view, mainstream society and the assimilationist factions of the LGBT community were leaving behind.
Rivera died during the dawn hours of February 19th, 2002, at St. Vincent’s Hospital, of complications from liver cancer. Activist Riki Wilchins said this of her: “In many ways, Sylvia was the Rosa Parks of the modern transgender movement, a term that was not even coined until two decades after Stonewall”.
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Remember the radicalism of Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson
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“Our armies are rising:” Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson
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I just got banned from my friend group’s discord for saying “if someone just switched from their cis pronouns to ‘any’ they probably lean towards their trans pronouns but they’re just dipping their toes in the water.” For “not respecting peoples preferred pronouns”
There’s literally no context I’m leaving out and the mods refuse to discuss it until I apologise .-.
I can see how it might come across as NB erasure but I expect they also would want to try their “new” pronouns out too.
As someone who intentionally uses any pronouns as the result of a long process of reflecting on my gender and coming to the conclusion that I am both someone who is comfortable being identified as cis while not really feeling strongly attached to, I guess, any particular set of gender performance norms or personal identification with such a set except as occurs to me moment-to-moment - I guess it wouldn’t be an appropriate statement to say that I’m “just dipping my toes in the water”.
But I also would be mad if someone got banned over that on my behalf.
I’m happy to be wrong about it, and I’m certainly not trying to put gender constructs on people who feel the way you do, but I still think in the absence of other information it isn’t an unreasonable conclusion to jump to. If you’re wrong about it then it hasn’t harmed anyone anyway. I’m most of all hurt that they would think I meant it that way. I’ve known these people for years.
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You’re in the wrong here.
Your job is not to analyze what someone’s gender identity actually is. Your job is to respect the pronouns the other person gave you. Unless they specifically tell you so, you’re making assumptions regarding their gender identity. Even if you’re 100% right, you don’t get a say in how other people define themselves.
You can absolutely say you prefer to use the new pronouns, just don’t make any assumptions. It probably isn’t that big a deal. Just admit it was a faux pas and do some self-crit.
I am respecting them by using one of their preferred pronouns
You are making assumptions about their gender identity here. Did they tell you specifically that they lean towards their new pronouns? No? Okay, then don’t voice your assumptions about how other people identify.
That’s not the problem. You can use correct pronouns and still have an incorrect understanding of their gender identity.