I have been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend but I keep getting overpowering feelings of wanting to date other people.
My girlfriend and I have been together almost 7 years now. We have a great life together and I love her dearly. She’s my best friend who I talk to all the time, we always have so much fun when we do things, we travel, great sex, etc. Recently talk of engagement has been popping up which I’m not ready for even though we’ve been together for so long. Despite that, I’m very happy with our relationship.
I do envision spending the rest of my life together and building toward a great future but recently I’ve been experiencing feelings of wanting to date around. I never dated before her. She’s my first partner and only women I’ve had sex with. As I’m getting into my late 20s I feel like I’ve missed out on dating and meeting knew people. Before my girlfriend I never had the confidence to ask girls out, I skipped all of my high school dances, and I had trouble talking to girls in person. I have a lot of regret because of my lack of confidence at that time.
Now I’m confident and much better socially. I just want to experience the thrill of dating. This is despite having a great partner who I love dearly. I’ve been trying to stop these feelings of wanting to date others for months but they’re stronger than ever. I know the grass is not always greener on the other side and dating is not easy. It’s also likely I won’t ever meet someone as good as my current partner. But I can’t shake these feelings. I don’t want to be 40 and having regrets when I already have so many.
What should I do? What other perspectives can I think of? Sorry for the relationship rant, but this site always gives great advice.
Nothing you do now can change the past. I know this is probably cliche or whatever, but therapy, journaling, self-reflection, and stuff are going to help you deal with all of those feelings about the past more than dating is going to. You can still meet new people, make some friends. Seriously, are you talking to a therapist about this?
Dating is very fun, sometimes. But can be hard and heartbreaking too. Most people (not everyone, ofc) are basically doing it to try to get to the situation you are in. You won, I wouldn’t give that up unless either you don’t want to be with this person anymore (or have real doubts about that) or think you might be poly. It’s like if a kid sucked at basketball in highschool, but somehow got good and got offered a pro-contract, but gave that up to go dunk on highschoolers to get over feelings of inadequacy. You’re in the NBA dude, forget about highschool.
The long distance is probably gonna suck, but like, idk get really into video games or something.