You just want to talk about the Matrix? You must be even more bored than I am

It’s dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Aww

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God, none of it matters. You’ll always have one dickhead or another in office. Losing sleep over who is president is nuts to me. We’re in dystopian times now. Just don’t think about it

This is fascinating. How does she paint her art? Healing folks with my own secretions is for the birds. I still wouldn’t want to become a giant snail

What happened to snail lady? Is she okay now? Is she still a snail? I don’t want to become a snail

And for the nausea, have a few sips of pickle juice. I swear it works. It works so well for me, at least

Is this the Japanese banana fanna bo banna or something?

Lockpicking is a fun hobby

When I saw it, it was a mermaid and the male engineer guy was trying to save her. Am I in a Mandela effect right now?

I liked your story, if that means anything

Hey, cool. I never knew what to do with my sumac. I can’t wait to try the eggs. Anymore sumac suggestions?

When would you not use two stages? Is it an option to leave the dirty soapy dishwasher on there?

What is there even to subscribe to? Anything interesting has only three posts in a month. Except for this one

Yes, thank you! That was my sentiment, exactly

A television screen you can turn on and off without the remote. A mobile phone that has buttons on the back. A magic stick that can send my husband to the cornfield when he won’t leave me alone.

I can’t remember

I would say, “It’s green. Haven’t you seen green before? You don’t know what green is?”

Jeepers peepers