When working on long-term goals:

1. Set a date for completion.
2. Create a tentative schedule working backwards from that date. Include dates for completing main tasks.
3. Give extra time in the schedule for minor setbacks between tasks.
4. Give extra time in the schedule for a potential major setback overall.

For example, let’s say the goal is to paint a house:

1. I can say I want it painted in 2 months, so I set it for the date of 9/17/24.

2. I figure I can paint a room every other day, so since the house has 5 rooms total, I think I can start painting 10 days before on 9/07/24. However, I need to consider that finding and purchasing paint and equipment will take time too. I think about it and consider that paint shopping can take me 2 days since I want to try out several stores, so the newer date is 9/05/24.

3. Now, I add some room for minor setbacks between each task. Rather than assuming I will paint every other day, I add two days in between. That means starting on 8/30/24. This allows me to take my time with rooms, skip a day if I feel tired, or adjust if I the rooms take longer to paint than I had anticipated for whatever reason. I also increase the time allotted for acquiring materials because so many things can happen: traffic, tired, unhappy with selection, need time to test samples and ask people, etc. Rather than only include 2 days for this, I include a whole week so I can see the paint samples on the walls and see which ones feel the best. We are not starting on 8/23/24.

4. Lastly, maybe something major could happen, such as getting sick, the store runs out of paint stock, my car breaks down, or I change my mind on one of the paint colors after seeing it up on the wall. I might even realize that I completely overlooked tasks, such as rearranging furniture, painting over errors/accidents, and clean up. I would then add a cushion of 2 weeks to the schedule to allow for that should it happen. So the actual start date is 8/9/24. This is much sooner than if we had gone with the original start date of 9/07/24, almost an entire month!

With this style of planning, I can take my sweet time, enjoy the process, and not get stressed out if something unexpected comes up. If I finish early, then I have extra time to work on details or enjoy the rest.

And slut has never had a positive meaning.

Am I the only one here that likes sl… promiscuous women??

Thank you! I’m here asking for advice on how to respond to gaslighting, and people are telling me it’s not gaslighting. I don’t have to prove with specific details that it’s gaslighting as if I’m in a fight with them. Yet, when I provide the details anyway, I’m told it is not gaslighting. I’m thinking they’re trolling me by gaslighting me further or theyre just that unhealthy.

Additionally with this girl, these are only the gaslighting attempts. There have been a few other manipulation tactics used as well. I rather not share them, but they were quite concerning on their own.

I will absolutely not tolerate any gaslighting, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt twice in 6 weeks just in case I’m wrong anyway. I really rather end it. I just don’t know how to do it without making it a major issue or hinting at blaming her in anyway whatsoever.

He looked lost and overwhelmed by the discussion that his family in the car was having.

I saw one in person for the first time yesterday. I didn’t think it was possible, but it is even uglier in person. I had to look at the driver to see what kind of person would buy that and to see if he felt shameful.

You’re welcome, and good luck 😊

I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with asking about this topic because I was worried that I would inadvertently be offensive somehow, so I typed my actual verbal stim into the post. Making weird noises when I’m overwhelmed is a way for me to get the energy out sometimes.

“Perfectionism is shame leaving the body.” - The Daily Llama

But seriously, I think the majority of perfectionism is rooted in childhood shame. That comes from family that was overly critical, so we attempted to address it by being perfect. Maybe try messing things up in a safe manner on purpose to behaviorally teach yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes.

That’s a tough one. Sorry for whatever strated you down that path It can be mentally exhausting and isolating. I hope you figure a way out of it.

My friend has a history of overeating and was about 70 lbs heavier than she is now. She started a keto diet that helped her get to her current weight/size, and now employs a modified diet where she goes keto regularly rather than stay on a strict diet all the time. It seems to work well for her since she can regularly eat whatever she wants between breaks. If you’re interested, I could ask her for online resources. Let me know 🙂👍

How many Slim Jims are you eating, and why do you want to stop?

Let’s return together

Based on a few docu-series I’ve seen on the Internet that include casting interviews, adult parties, and erotic behaviors in public, I’m pretty certain that the Czech Republic is lax on sexual matters.

how can anyone believe [Trump]?

MAGA is in a trauma bond with Trump.

You’re thinking of Dolores. Clitoris was a migratory bird that bred in the Arctic.

What was better about it?

Belgian?

yes

She said it’s so rare to get to choose a digital representation that matches her skin tone that she just thinks it’s fun to get to do it for once.

awww, that sounds so cute

that’s true. I might be hyper- vigilant or reactive to those kinds of things.

I’m not the kind of ‘trendy’ bipolar, although my cunt of an aunt believes I have ‘convinced’ myself of that, despite being to the nuthouse twice (50 days total) and several psycho-shinks having diagnosed me with several other mental disorders; the very first nuttyness I got diagnosed with was of course, ADD/ADHD.

I was diagnosed with several mental health conditions before autism spectrum disorder. One of them was bipolar, but I didn’t really relate to that. Apparently, I was pretty good at masking and high functioning on paper due to vocational success, while the mental health providers I saw were not well-trained in autism. That meant that they never even considered autism and kept guessing what was going on. At some point, I swear they thought I was making things up to make a case for disability. Anyway, someone that knew me for a while mentioned that they thought I was autistic. I took an online test that seemed valid, and the results suggested that I was likely autistic. After that, I saw a psychologist that specialized in autism for a thorough assessment. They said that I was definitely autistic.

So given that I have had a natural birth, the flow of oxygen could have been cut off to my brain. So could I also be ‘on the spectrum’ as they say?

My second cousin, son of my first cousin once removed, is autistic. As I understand chief reason for this is your mom and dad being old. Like my first cousin once removed was 40 when she had her son, her husband was in his 40s too.

There are many potential risks linked with having an autistic child. However, they are only risks, not certain causes. Meeting a risk factor does not certainly cause autism.

How do I know that I am ‘on the spectrum’ without relying much on any external sources?

Considering the complexity of your case, I think that you really can’t be certain without a valid assessment by an expert in the matter. By expert, I don’t mean any psychologist. I mean a psychologist that specializes in autism.

Is it like bipolarity where they give you pills?

Nope. There are no medications for autism.

What does exactly happen when you are known to be an autistic person?

Generally, people learn about themselves as an autistic person, review their lives to make sense of their troubles, then make adjustments so that they can function and be happy while accepting they are autistic. For example, rather than force yourself to sit through a social event that is loud and overwhelming, you might leave early or not attend at all. While this may seem silly for those of us that are masking and gaslighting ourselves, it helps us out tremendously when we put it into effect. There are many areas in our lives that can improve when we make accommodations like that for our autistic traits.

I don’t do well socially either. Again I realize these are ‘funhouse’ and ‘stereotypical’ things people say about people on ‘the spctrum’. But I get annoyed even if people use the apostrophe ’ incorrectly!

I could just be an obsessive asshole.

Maybe! You could also be an obsessive asshole that is autistic as well. lol. But seriously, many adults that are unaware they are autistic have been told they are assholes because of their social differences, so they come to believe it. When really, they socialize differently and would be considered outstanding people in settings that are better suited for them.

I am also a druggie but that’s a whole other story.

Some autistic people resort to self-medicating with drugs because the environment is too stimulating, though they wouldn’t be able to say it that way. Their experience is that they feel horrible sometimes and the solution is to use a drug that makes them numb to it.

My parents were from different cities, different races even. My dad was brown-skinned and green-eyed, my mom is white-skinned and brown-haired. Both are ethnically Persian though. Although my dad’s grandmother was a gypsy, these gypsies are not the ones you find in Romania, these are the gypsies who stayed behind closer to the place of origin. We call them ‘jatts’; and that’s how anthropologists know gypsies come from India (if people close to India call them ‘jatt’, and there’s a group of people in India called ‘jatt’ then, put two and two together I guess!

Pretty cool!