If things go well on the date, maybe they’ll vibe Louis Sachar’s holes

The magician’s assistant must be a labracadabradoodle

Then the Canadians show up with their shovels and frying pans and all hell breaks loose

Wake up
Sun is shining
Birds are singing
Have tea on porch
Watch the squirrels frolicking in the leaves
Despite everything, it’s all going to be okay
Oh, hiya neighbour
Doing some yard work?
BWARRRARARARRRGHGHHGHGHGHGHG

Are you fucking retarted [sic]? Are you too godamn [sic] stupid to see how fucking dumb you are? You my simple mindless friend … no intelligent creator would ever willfully will into existance [sic] a moron as fucking moronic as you.

Can’t imagine why you got banned 🙄

Everyone sucks here, but like… come on

Some people have an interpretation that the devil wins anyway, either because of the sin of pride or because Johnny is gambling with his immortal soul.

That’s not in keeping with hopeposting though, so let me offer an alternative interpretation.

The devil sees this good ol’ boy playing fiddle in the woods and thinks he’s an easy mark. He proposes the wager, and then in true devilish fashion immediately cheats.

Johnny’s unbothered by this. He’s just that good, and he schools the devil through skill alone.

Johnny’s a force for wholesomeness. He’s just happy to be sawing away at the fiddle in the woods, singing songs about chickens and petting dogs. He’s talented, but he’s also incorruptible.

Because of this, the devil can’t swindle him. He truly is a good ol’ boy. And when you think about it, wager or not, there’s nothing damnable about playing good tunes.

Usually in these Faustian tales, the devil offers a wicked person a bargain, and then that person uses the bargain to perform more wickedness. I posit that the devil doesn’t win souls just because of the contract, but because the person damns themselves through their actions after the deal is struck.

If Johnny was a wicked person, maybe he’d waste the golden fiddle on hookers and blow and end up damned anyway. But Johnny doesn’t seem like that guy. He probably keeps the gold fiddle on the mantle to tell the tale of his jam session. There’s nothing wicked about that, so Johnny is safe

Cooking from scratch is almost always going to be less expensive, better tasting, and healthier.

Cooking with pre-made ingredients is often faster and easier.

For me, the decision is often predicated on how much energy I have. Sometimes prepping all the ingredients and the resulting cleanup feels like an impossible undertaking. Which is a shame because I’m a good cook - but sometimes I hate cooking.

Meal prepping or making batch meals is often a happy medium. Homemade food that you can later just reheat. If anybody has tips for making it feel less like I’m eating leftovers all the time, I’m happy to hear them

I have a friend with one of those automatic food dispensers that releases food at set times

The cats hate the time change (and I mean, fair). They’re probably screaming right now

My wife would probably do the same, because if she expected me to keep a real plant alive I’d surely disappoint her.

This feels weird.

Like, I get it. Having a Hammer documentary without Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee would be like making a sandwich without bread.

But using a simulated likeness and voice to push your narrative into a dead man seems wrong. I’d even go so far as to say it undermines the credibility of your documentary.

Cushing was hugely prolific and starred in so many of these films that I have a hard time believing they couldn’t find contemporary interviews to use instead of making something new.

I think there’s a difference between saying, “This is my name and I work here for the city,” and, “This is the home address of my opponent whom I’m sharing lies about and threatening violence towards”

Especially when you consider that it’s not just the officials, but their families who are exposed too

Subway has previously made headlines in legal news because their footlongs were under a foot long, and because their 100% chicken was half soy. If anything, they deserve some extra scrutiny.

Love to see this

Some produce does surprisingly well at room temperature. Potatoes, onions, and gourds can last for months if stored properly. We keep our tomatoes on the counter and they’ve lasted for weeks at a time. As a general rule, if it’s found on a shelf rather than a cooler in a grocery store, it’ll be good for at least several days outside the fridge.

Everything I need to make rice or noodles is shelf stable. Pasta’s probably your friend here too.

Beans can be kept dried or canned. Dried is far cheaper, but can be more labour intensive for cooking. So if I’m just making something for myself, canned is a good choice too.

Lots of seafood is pretty good canned. Fish and crackers is something of a lazy/comfort food for me.

I had some fridge trouble in the recent past, and it was super lame. Good luck, and I hope you get a replacement soon

I’ve lived with the snow all my life, but I can probably still offer some tips that people get caught on.

Snow removal is a bastard. Snow’s often heavier than it looks, especially when it’s wet. If you’re doing it yourself, make sure to stretch and not to attempt it if you have a heart condition. The low temperature makes the exertion more difficult on your heart, lungs, and muscles. It’s a fantastic way to stay in shape, but I often pull something in my back with the first major snowfall.

Winter driving bears some special consideration. Your car might need more time to warm up before it’s good to drive, and freezes will kill low batteries. Traction is poor, and even with a light layer of snow it can be very difficult to drive uphill. You often need a running start, and around here sometimes you just can’t make it to the top. Be prepared by knowing alternate routes, and by keeping an eye out for other drivers that might start rolling back towards you.

People often get stuck in the snow, so it’s important to be prepared. There’s two types of roadside emergency kits that you should be prepared to use. One is for attempting to get your car out of the snow, and the other is for survival if you can’t get unstuck. People more qualified than I could tell you what should be in them, but warm clothing and blankets are a must. If you have enough fuel, you might think that you could run the car all night to keep warm. But be warned that might not always be an option, and if the snow is piling up it can cause your exhaust to back up and asphyxiate you.

Walking in snow requires a higher level of exertion. It’s harder on your muscles, and stabilizing on packed snow might cause you to use some unfamiliar muscle groups. Again, it’s a great way to stay in shape, but if you’re not prepared for it you can quickly have a bad time. If the snow is particularly deep, you might be interested in snowshoeing or skiing. These are easier than clomping through the snow, but again, they’ll be unfamiliar muscle groups and require some practice.

I would do some research to see what level of snow removal your destination city does. Some places are super accessible, some plow only roads and leave sidewalks buried, and some places you’re snowbound for months at a time. I personally find it quite cozy to be snowed in, but it can become a serious problem if you’re not prepared for it.

This one’s probably subjective, but I find it important to keep separate Winter and Autumn outerwear. We’re at the time of year now where we’re starting to see some freezing temperatures, but it’s nowhere near what it’ll be in a couple months’ time. If you’re coming from a hot climate, you might be tempted to put on your warmest clothes as soon as it’s colder than you’ve been in your life. But then when it gets even colder than that, you’ll be happy to have something warmer to add to it.

Find something fun to do in the snow. If you’ve never seen snow in person before, I understand it’s often a magical feeling. But once you live with it for a long time, the magic can fade, and the inconveniences can mount. Having something to look forward to with the snow sometimes makes all the difference between Winter Wonderland and Frozen Hellscape. Whether that’s tobogganing, skating, or snowball fights, you’ve got to do something to keep up the morale in the winter months.

So I guess the thinking is that things get trapped under the contact lenses. When you blink or pour water over your eyes, you would normally flush nastiness away from your eyes. With the lenses on, it blocks the flushing action, which gives the parasite more time to establish itself.

I suppose this is probably also true for most bacteria or foreign particles too. I imagine it’s also one of the risks of just wearing contacts for too long without changing them.

Ah, then condolences. Your professor was not a clever cookie

Hermes would be proud

It feels very weird that you can gamble on election results.

Like, casinos have deep pockets, lobbyists, and are in bed with politicians. It feels like it would be easier for them to influence an election than, say, sporting events.

Not to mention that providing odds for the election results is also something of an endorsement for who they perceive to be a favourable party.

Did you put the paper online before or after the assignment?

I don’t know that “plagiarism” is the right word for it, but this was something that my instructors in college made sure we aware of. I’m in tech, and a lot of us had some portfolios already, so we were warned that if we recycled stuff from a previous project it would fail to meet our academic code of conduct and be scored as a zero.

I’m not saying that’s what you did, and again, I wouldn’t exactly call it “plagiarism” either. You can’t really copy yourself, y’know? But I could see how somebody who doesn’t know better could get tripped up