Ok, that’s good, I thought you were one of those resolution snobs complaining that my screen isn’t one of those fancy 4K laptop screens, but I guess in this case it was just an honest misunderstanding.

Exactly and that’s the context of the situation in the original post I commented in, and the connection that mod was trying to deny.

So you’re saying that the mod has the right to deny actual trans women’s experiences because he disagrees with them and twists the Egg prime directive to suit his narrative? Makes sense that you wouldn’t understand the situation since you’re just a cis person after all.

I used to do it too to roleplay, and for some people it means nothing, but if you’re doing it all the time or regularly, it’s more likely that might be a sign… I did it all the time, I even drew pictures of myself as a girl, all the signs were there.

If you’re wrong about someone and they turn out to be a femboy, no harm no foul, if you are right about a trans woman being in denial and you don’t help her, it’s life or death. I’d day it’s worth the awkwardness and few hurt feelings along the way, it’s LIFE OR DEATH!

That mod said on more than one occasion that he was a femboy and he’s used he/him pronouns to describe himself. I’m not misgendering him just because he chooses to sometimes call himself Agender but almost never really refers to himself that way. If he actually is I’m really confused since most Agender people aren’t also femboys.

When people haven’t lived the experience they won’t have accurate knowledge on the subject of the trans experience, and shouldn’t be telling other people whether signs are valid of being trans or not. Signs are valid and can identify someone being trans before they identify it themselves.

Cassie seems to support the idea that many trans people need help, that they are terrible at listening to their inner voice. She even craved it herself. I don’t think this helps that mod’s cause, if anything it just shows how bad what he’s doing is.

That mod is denying the validity of signs off being transgender, and saying they aren’t signs. In a community dedicated to breaking out of denial and recognizing that one is trans. I have been invalidated a lot and I’ve been in fierce denial, people shouldn’t have to live through that, they should be helped out.

I also don’t think the mod was trying to silence me specifically but any criticism of his words. Maybe he didn’t want to call negative attention to himself and get removed as a mod for permanently banning a trans woman from a trans community, he still banned be though, and he locked the post so people can’t criticize him for saying those awful invalidating things.

Wish granted, blocked :)

Wait how small do you think the screenshot I took is, are you looking at the thumbnail as the full size? If you are then it makes sense for you to complain about my screen size but this screen is about 1080p (maybe not exactly) and the screenshot is only slightly cropped to remove excess junk from it like my window borders and the extra modlog entries, so if people complain about that I have the right to be at least a little bit snarky.

I’m sorry I don’t have a nicer laptop with a higher res screen so I can take bigger screenshots. Maybe I should dip into my savings and buy one instead of saving up to get bottom surgery. It’s no one else’s problem that I have a penis after all. That was sarcasm, I’m not doing that at all, get used to low-res screenshots because I’m not buying a better laptop unless this one dies or I have a vagina (probably won’t for a while afterwards bc I’ll be in debt).

You are right, this discussion is going in circles, most people here don’t see or understand why this is wrong and it’s likely blahaj.zone doesn’t either. Otherwise they wouldn’t have allowed him to become a mod now would they?

Even if you aren’t intending judgement with it, ‘normal’ carries a judging connotation, or at minimum the connotation that there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed.

I’m sorry if it came across that way, I don’t think people who do it need to be fixed, just helped to discover their true selves so they can be happy.

Telling them that the way their abnormality needs to be fixed is through transitioning rather than conforming to their ASAB is still imposing more gender stereotypes, even if it’s done with good intentions.

How? It’s literally encouraging them to transition away from their AGAB, it’s literally breaking gender stereotypes by virtue of presenting differently than society expects them to, since they are presenting and identifying as a gender different than what they were assigned at birth. Being trans breaks gender stereotypes.

If someone is given free access to information about trans people and transitioning, can talk to trans people either in person or online to ask questions, etc, and they’ve decided they aren’t trans, then that’s just something you have to respect. Self determination is more important than making sure nobody can hurt themselves by making decisions they might regret.

Trans regret is one of the lowest regrets that there is out there, almost no one does and most if not all detransitioners do so because bigoted fucks made or coerced them to do it. Trans regret is practically non-existent in the real world without external influence.

Pro-tip: Cis people really shouldn’t be giving pointers when it comes to the trans experience.

That mod was denying the validity of the signs of being trans, and they’re not even trans themselves. Does it really seem appropriate to take advice from a cis person about what it really means to be trans?

I know that I reacted strongly but the fact is they really should not be a mod there, they’re hiding behind the Egg prime directive to deny the experiences of real trans women because they think our stories about coming out are forcing gender stereotypes.

Also that mod very clearly overstepped by locking the post so no one else could criticize him for his invalidation of transfem experiences of being eggs and the signs we didn’t see. Is that okay and justified for him to be able to silence people like that?

That’s what I want to know, it makes no sense why they would let a femboy who isn’t even trans mod a community about trans people and trans issues.

Did you play it because it was a fun game, or did you play it because you could be a girl in that game? 😏

(Provide alternatives for expediency, and accessibility, as readability is inherently challenging)

No, people do not owe other people easy alternatives to just respecting the person’s pronouns. I don’t want people using they/them on me because it’s “too hard” to remember she/her, or keep forgetting I’m a girl because of my voice. No compromise, just respect people’s fucking pronouns.

You seem very angry, across all your interactions here in this thread and around your experiences here. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to be frustrated about in life. I’m not telling you to leave. That’s not my place. But I think you might find a happier experience with a bit of a break, and perhaps heavier curation of who you speak with, and where you hang out. Good luck.

You bet I’m fucking angry, if you knew what it was like to be trans you wouldn’t be saying it so casually. I can’t just stop being angry or stop being scared. I’m literally living in a world that hates and rejects me for who I am, and I’m forced to listen to apologia from assholes who just can’t accept the fact that I’m a fucking girl.

I’m not trying to say it isn’t normal to judge them for it, I know it’s hard to be trans and that’s why it’s important to show them the signs, so they can understand themselves why they aren’t cis. I know it seems like I’m catastrophizing or projecting I just know that for many trans people it is that way, it is very hard. Transitioning late after years in the egg or the dysphoria brought on by age can be too much for many people, which is why transitioning should happen sooner rather than later.

I’m glad you understand the nature of the situation here, I think gender stereotypes suck (I was denied official HRT because I wasn’t willing to pretend to be a woman for them) but it’s still important to recognize that for many people acting in non-standard ways are signs of being trans. Gender stereotypes are that way for a reason, they weren’t just arbitrarily made up, people of certain genders are drawn naturally towards gendered things correlating to their emotional gender, which is linked to their biological brain gender. That’s why acting feminine as a male is often a sign of being trans.

What @Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com said is unacceptable and invalidating to many trans people, he should feel ashamed of himself and be banned from trans spaces for it.

Here’s a public comment of this asshole denying the validity of nounself pronouns:

https://discuss.online/post/13103441/11998755

Throughout that thread they refused to use the correct neopronouns of that person (drag/dragself) and constantly criticized drag for it.

Smaller hit-boxes too? 😏