• b9999998@lemmynsfw.comOPM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      I am indeed curious if you don’t mind my asking. I don’t fully understand why about “the not coming down there” part and the denial of orgasms.
      Personally for myself, playing with and achieving orgasms (ruined or full) is what drives me.

      Totally cool if you prefer to reply via dm instead

      • chloespanked@lemmynsfw.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Thanks for your question. It prompted some critical self-reflection in me. Not coming with my penis was a way of managing gender dysphoria as a transfeminine person. I’ve realized it’s not working out great for me, although the break had some benefits. Like you highlighted, there was some ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’. I think my issue is not that I masturbate with my penis but how I do. I desire to be feminine and submissive during sex, but that carries significant challenges accepting and finding it for me, compared to cisheteronormative relations. I’d wank joylessly and compulsively to mental scenes that I found very hot to manage the frustration of feeling like the kind of sex I want to have is unattainable, in the same way that someone in a bad job and bad marriage might habitually turn to the bottle to cope versus try to improve their life situation.

        • b9999998@lemmynsfw.comOPM
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Thank YOU so much for helping me learn and understand. I did not reply to your earlier mentioned post as I did not want to barge in the community there from my own cisheteronormative (I’m learning the terminology 😊) background.

          I totally appreciate you opening up, sharing, and engaging. Please continue to do so 😊.

          “Chastity” (and switching to a sub) for me personally is a relatively new kink (just about a couple of years) though I knew about cages and was visually introduced to the kink/themes around it about 5 years ago when I started learning about femdom and creating gifs in that area. So it’s always fun and interesting for me to know how others view it, practice it and what it means for them.