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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Dapper_Ad7723 on 2023-07-06 02:05:54+00:00.
My fiancé and I have been together 3 years. Great relationship, clearly the love of my life. In the bedroom things are fine. Since there’s a problem with my answer. Obviously I have had experiences in the past that I would consider much better and a lover in the past who I would consider to be the best one I’ve had. It is unfortunately not my fiancé. However, i don’t really care. The sex is fine. I don’t need amazing sex for the relationship to be amazing. I don’t think there’s a problem with that.
We’re on a vacation rn overseas and we have been fucking like rabbits. We had a particular amorous night two nights ago. When we were done he told me that he thinks that was the best sex of his life and he has literally never felt the way I made him feel during it. I told him it was fun and I enjoyed it a lot. Which was all 100% true.
I guess he was taken aback by my response and he said he thought it was more than “fun” and said it was amazing. I said that I’m flattered and I’m really glad he felt that way. He then actually confronted me on it and asked why I don’t seem as hyped by it as he was.
I told him I love sex with him and that I wouldn’t trade our nights together for anything. He said that he felt that i was genuinely the best lover he’s ever had and asked if I felt the same way. I tried to tell him that didn’t matter to me and that there’s no point into thinking about my sexual past. He told me that wasn’t a yes and asked for a fully honest answer.
I tried to be tactful yet honest and explained t him that he was not, and that I have had partners that were seemingly exceptional in bed and that he while isn’t exceptional physically can get the job done well.
He asked me what he was doing wrong and what those guys did that made it better. So this was hard to explain as there’s just certain things he can’t replicate. For example the best one was during college when we were young and new to sex and it was purely raw sexual attraction. He can’t just do this. I of course didn’t tell him this but I told him things were just different in ways that just can’t be replicated.
He of course got upset and said that he’s really sorry to not live up to my past partners. I told him that doesn’t matter to me and clearly how amazing they were in bed wasn’t enough to make up for their shortcomings which he doesn’t have. This didn’t really comfort him and whe hasn’t touched me since.
It really pisses me off cause I don’t see how I did anything wrong. He asked me and I told him I didn’t care or need great sex. Now we’ve spent all this money on a trip and he doesn’t even want to have sex and has been distant since.
What can I do to help him get over this?