I agree that it should not be normalized, but calling it pathological is a pretty callous description for it. I have had many girlfriends go through my phones and I really had nothing that was upset them, so I didn’t care, but I was always curious. The more I understood it, the checking comes from insecurity that is rooted in trauma. They did it in an effort to protect themselves from being hurt. It was not logical to me because I had given no reason to have them doubt; but the level of hurt and distrust caused them to have extremely careful precautions.
So what you’re saying is that because the world has hurt them before, they engage in behavior that, while hurtful in itself, was really only ever intended to help them protect themselves even though they might not be in the situation where the behaviors in question would benefit them anymore?
Congratulations, you’ve defined “pathological behavior”.
Yeah I wasn’t looking to define pathological behavior but rather provide context for a differing perspective. I can see this isn’t the right time to provide a different viewpoint.
This is normalising pathological behaviour.
I agree that it should not be normalized, but calling it pathological is a pretty callous description for it. I have had many girlfriends go through my phones and I really had nothing that was upset them, so I didn’t care, but I was always curious. The more I understood it, the checking comes from insecurity that is rooted in trauma. They did it in an effort to protect themselves from being hurt. It was not logical to me because I had given no reason to have them doubt; but the level of hurt and distrust caused them to have extremely careful precautions.
So what you’re saying is that because the world has hurt them before, they engage in behavior that, while hurtful in itself, was really only ever intended to help them protect themselves even though they might not be in the situation where the behaviors in question would benefit them anymore?
Congratulations, you’ve defined “pathological behavior”.
Yeah I wasn’t looking to define pathological behavior but rather provide context for a differing perspective. I can see this isn’t the right time to provide a different viewpoint.
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