My husband works at a small store and recently had an older woman came in to buy some stuff. On her way out, he was holding the door open for her because she was using a walker. As they were in the doorway, she said something about “Oh no, we’re not doing that today” suggesting that he was trying to make some type of move to sexually assault her.
He is really offended by her comment because he is not the type to harass or assault women. I’m having a hard time talking to him about it in a non-biased way, because I know what it’s like to have to assume that men are going to try to pull something, especially if you’re alone.
I’m hoping to get some advice on how to talk to him to make him feel better or more supported because both conversations we’ve had, I feel like I’m invalidating his feelings because of my bias.
You wrote that he’s “not the type” to do something shady. Unfortunately, perhaps, people don’t care about one’s “type”. They care about what one actually does or doesn’t do.
In other words, you and he are assuming that she was judging his character, which you assure is is immaculate, but she doesn’t know anything about that. She was concerned with one single action, and that’s it.
If he’s trying to blow it up, either his ego needs massaging or he’s deflecting.
I used to work in a grocery store and carry out bags of food for customers. Every month someone got angry because I assumed or didn’t assume or asked or didn’t ask if they needed help with their bags. You can’t win in customer service. Meh.
This was more or less my pov when we had the conversation. My ussue was that when we were discussing the situation I could tell I wasn’t being supportive to his feelings. He was bugged in that moment and has long since moved on. I’ve just been over thinking a 5 minute discussion, as one does. Thank you for your input!