I’m fucked man. I’m disabled and can’t work, I just got disability benefits approved. I’ve known since 2016 that no “progressive” country will accept a disabled immigrant as a citizen even if they can work. I checked again today and nothing has changed. I stumbled on a reddit thread chastising an OP with autism (plus children with disabilities) for being in a similar position as me and bemoaning it, because why would a country accept a disabled person who doesn’t benefit them after all, fuck disabled people reddit says. I can’t even use my back pay to move countries since no one wants me. I wanted to either invest my back pay or use it to move countries if shit hit the fan, which is so out of reach now. Both of my parents are from Puerto Rico so there is no ancestral place I can run to. I never completed college because of my disability which appeared when I was a teenager and gets worse every year. My (not married and able-bodied) partner’s ancestry is China and I told them they should move countries without me to get away but they want to stay with me even if it means being in this hellhole. I want to have a child when I am ready, but I am scared of a national ban on abortion which would endanger me if I was pregnant. My future feels over. So yeah, my depression and anxiety are in overdrive. Feeling desperate.

My state voted Kamala, they always vote for the conservative democrat and are worth very little electoral votes, insignificant really. I consistently voted Bernie, begrudgingly democrat, and this time around for PSL. My vote doesn’t matter, I know that because of the way the electoral college is setup. Every local progressive I voted for lost to a conservative democrat. This time around there were no progressives on the ballot that I could root for, only democrats I have zero faith in that I voted for anyway. Most of the people around me do not vote because they they think it does not matter and everything is rigged. I mean it doesn’t really matter I guess since Kamala won my state anyway and lost but fuck man. Shit is looking really bleak for me. I wish Bernie or De la Cruz won but that is just a pipe dream I guess. Kamala never inspired me, she wasn’t really a progressive leftist and I did not think she would fix the country. Only maintain the status quo. I can only hope for a revolution now.

MLK Jr was a radical with socialist ideas. There’s so many quotes to choose from during his later years but this seems most apt for me for now:

“If America does not use her vast resources of wealth to end poverty and make it possible for all of God’s children to have the basic necessities of life, she too will go to hell.”