First, I would recommend not taking parenting advice from people jumping in who are clearly not parents, and also who seem like they have never been around children since they themselves were children judging by the harsh way they talk about them.

I’m not sure the exact age range we’re talking about, but it seems like we’re looking at elementary-school students, so the fact that people are coming out swinging with insults and promotion of violence is deeply troubling. I’m not sure about the country either, but wherever it is it seems quite likely that the teachers themselves are overworked, underfunded, and provided little to no support for actually addressing problems like this.

It’s fantastic that you are already open to considering what this other child is going through and aren’t immediately seeking to villainize him: what a lot of people don’t realize, and what a lot of schools aren’t equipped to handle, is that learning disabilities often present with behavioural issues. Without the proper resources, this becomes a difficult situation for everyone involved.

Now, as you rightly pointed out, the school likely has little they can do for this child whether the behaviour stems from issues at home, from an unaddressed learning disability, whatever. There are countless reasons that could lead to this, but very little that can be done to solve it the way our current system sets kids up to fail.

I normally wouldn’t bother with this preamble, as none of it relates to your parenting, but it’s pretty unnerving to see a bunch of people promoting violence among children. As the adults that should obviously not be something we encourage. I am not against teaching self-defense, of course, but self-defense does not come from actively escalating conflict. In fact, good self-defense also teaches de-escalation.

Your child’s safety is important. You need to assess whether this is a pattern: you described an incident (or potentially two incidents) in a very short time period. Do you know if this is an escalation of previous conflict? Do you know if anything triggered this escalation? Is there conflict with other children?

What methods does the teacher use to de-escalate conflict? Are there opportunities to make amends?

Depending on their age: are the children likely to be together unsupervised? Are they likely to be together outside of the classroom at all? These can help you gauge what the actual risk potential is.

And most importantly: how does your child actually feel? Do they feel targeted? Are they scared of this classmate? Is it possible that your anger about the incident is colouring your child’s reaction? It’s very easy to get lost in “parental protection” that places your own feelings and desires for your child’s welfare above the things your child thinks and feels about their welfare. They were the one present. They were the one hit. They are the one interacting with their classmate. What do they want?

These aren’t questions I’m looking for an answer to, they’re questions you need to ask to figure out the best way to keep your child safe. An important part of a child’s growth is providing them with an established support system where they feel safe to talk to you when conflicts arise: not because you necessarily have all the answers, but because you will let their feelings be what matters, and not swallow them with your own feelings. With your support, you can help your child navigate coming to their own conclusions about what would be a good solution going forward (is that avoiding the other student? is it learning to de-escalate or to recognize triggers? is it just…making up because it was a one-off thing and not a real pattern of bullying?).

As a parent it feels like you have to be able to swoop in and protect your child from the world, but most importantly is helping your child learn to face (or know when to walk away from) conflict so that they have the self-confidence to overcome friction with others on their own (and finding the help of adults/others is definitely still in the toolkit of “on their own,” because in a community we are never truly alone).