• Duranie@literature.cafe
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    3 months ago

    For the love of God can’t we just make sex work legal, take the shame out of it, and STOP associating it with massage? PLEASE?!?

    I’ve been a massage therapist for almost 20 years now and have got the point where the sex jokes hit with about the same impact as asking the cashier if something is free if the item doesn’t scan at the register. I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending. My inside voice said “no, sorry, she’s still breathing so she has to keep dealing with you” while my outside voice pretended not to hear the comment.

    • suction@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      There used to be a “traditional” massage salon in my neighbourhood which looked extremely legit, medical, and had zero hints that “happy endings” were on the menu. For years I was convinced that it really was one of those shops where they do not offer the sleazy stuff. People I know went there to get massages, men and women. I never went because I’m convinced massages are snake oil and a waste of money.

      Then one day they were raided and closed down by the local authorities. Turned out despite the upstanding image, they did offer the happy ending version, you just had to know the “unofficial” phone number and codeword.

      So that didn’t exactly help to solidify my trust that there are massage businesses that are truly not offering any kind of sex work ever.

      Not judging it, but the image they have is earned to say the least.

      • Duranie@literature.cafe
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        3 months ago

        Therein lies part of the problem. A large number of those places that disguise themselves as legitimate clinics are actually covers for human trafficking.

        Depending on where you are, becoming a massage therapist can take a couple years and cost thousands of dollars, require exams, and licensing. Legitimate massage therapists aren’t going to risk throwing everything away for a couple extra bucks for a handy. If sex work was legal, people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.

        As for massage being snake oil, I guess it depends on what the person is claiming it’s going to do. Like I said, I’ve been doing this almost 20 years now, and have worked in health clubs (mostly doing sports/injury recovery/rehab stuff), education (teaching massage, anatomy, physiology, pathology), and now working hospice the last several years. Massage can be great for pain relief, relaxation, and general comfort. For some people with circulatory issues like lymphedema, massage can help reduce the fluid settling in their extremities. Unfortunately historically there’s a lot of questionable and downright bullshit practices that have been attached to massage, but massage on it’s own? If you like to be touched, it can be a good thing.

        • LazerFX@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.

          Yes, that’s the point - they’d BE a legitimate business anyway. Sadly, the concept of it being not so, is so ingrained in Western (American and British, at least) culture that even comments in support reveal an unconscious bias that’s hard to overcome.

    • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Hill, in his tribute, recalled one funny interaction that occurred when Sean Lock called him from a hospice.

      “I asked him what it was like, and he said: ‘It’s OK actually and the sex is amazing,’” Hill wrote.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      3 months ago

      I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending.

      WTF is wrong with people… “Hey did you jerk off my dying SIL?”

    • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Eww, like the cashier joke is inoffensive but the the happy ending is just eww

      maybe I’m being too purist/prejudiced to feel that way?