This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/JohnnyCampello on 2023-07-25 15:06:29+00:00.
TLDR: My girlfriend broke up with me 2 months after asking me to marry her, and a day after me traveling to her country to see her house and get to know a bit more about her past, I need help understanding if it was my fault.
I (23m) dated my now-ex girlfriend (22f) for 2 years, and we had a wonderful relationship in my eyes filled with love, partnership and we really cared for each other, our only weak point was communication, but we were working on it steadly and improvements were showing.
after a while together, I moved countries for her, leaving behind my friends and family. I had also found a job and started working hard, I came from poverty but managed to save 100k € to eventually buy a house for us. I honestly saw myself in the long term future having a life with her and she always motivated me to be better.
don’t get me wrong, i was far from perfect, i’m not the tidiest guy around, and stress sometimes turned me into a grumpy moster, but i was working on improving my shit.
my communication improved a lot since the beginning of the relationship, as well as my ability to talk about my feelings, which I had never been able to do before and i was seeing really good improvement.
the first time she broke up with me was 6 months ago, after which she went wild on tinder while I fell into a deep depression and was the worse i’ve ever been before specially since i was left alone in a country i had no one ( this made a bit harder for me to take her back due to the pain she caused me but i ended up forgiving her ).
a couple weeks after the first breakup, she moved in with a friend of hers who had a crush on her and said she realized she had made a mistake and wanted to give us another chance.
i took her back and we were having an awesome time after getting back together, and I tried my best to fix the problems that caused her to leave, but it is stuff that takes time, and I again was honestly seeing a lot of improvements on my end.
within 2 months of us getting back together, she proposed to me and I accepted, we got engaged, i started working harder to build the future i saw with her.
two months after she proposed to me, she went to visit her parents in Singapore and invited me (almost begged) for me to come.
the trip was really not ideal, i knew it would be a bit stressful cause work was piling up, but I wanted to be there for her specially since it was something she valued (her past). i sacrificed my plans and work. but as soon as i got there it was totally different than what she said, it was tense, and we barely had any time together.
we only spent 7 days out of the 13 days I was there together, which was a bummer for me since she was begging me to be with her. Towards the end of the trip, she broke up with me, saying she wanted to move back with her parents (I assume she enjoyed being a child again instead of having responsibilities). (she mentioned she liked having stuff made for her such as her parents making her dentist appointments and stuff like that).
on top of that she blamed me for everything, not cleaning the house, working a lot, not listening to her and being toxic, and she said i wasnt worth it.
i need some help seeing if i’m really that horrible, i indeed got angry with her from time to time and we had some heated arguments in topics we didn’t see eye to eye and could’ve done a better job cleaning the house but I don’t think i deserved this.
I just got a 6 figures job offer with relocation to switzerland but I know I can’t accept it, i don’t want to move to another country and be lonely and even more depressed, I even had to quit the projects i’m currently working on.