It took me forever to get into an appointment with a therapist. My mom and dad see her weekly and love her, so I had a lot of hope. I asked for time off work, drove 30 minutes to the office and got stood up. She completely forgot about me and missed the appointment. I’ve been suicidal for a long time, and it’s creeping up again. Things are getting bad, I’m headed for a breakdown, there’s no avoiding a complete mental collapse now I can feel it. I don’t know if I will survive this round, I don’t think I care if I do or not. I don’t know if I even want to.
I can’t tell anybody, I don’t think I can stand to have them worry again. I can’t tell the therapist either, I don’t want to be committed… I’m just so tired and falling apart.