I hate getting books for Christmas in general because I’m such a mood reader, and I’ve plastered a fake smile on my face many a time and repeated internally ‘Its the thought that counts.’ as I unwrap a book I will not read.

But the worst one by far, given to me by my own Mother , who I know loves me, when I was fourteen years old! was >!Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.!< I am sitting there horrified thinking what is she trying to tell me? As my sisters are flat on the floor laughing to the point of puking. We eventually came to the conclusion she just saw an attractive cover on a bestseller table and grabbed it. Love to know your terrible gift stories.

  • arrows_ash@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Love Reading and my family knows that this but won’t get me a book unless I directly ask, so the worst one has to be either the bible or the French dictionary, I lost both of them

  • toonceontheluce@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Not Christmas, but someone gifted my daughter a very sexist first Bible for girls board book for her birth. A lot in there about obeying men? It went straight in the trash.

  • haelesor@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    For reasons beyond fathoming, multiple people thought that the perfect gift for a teenage girl (me) who loved reading (specifically sci-fi, fantasy, and horror) was harlequin romance novels. Like no hate to those who enjoy them but I sincerely loathe the bodice-ripper genre as a whole.

  • needstherapy@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    I collect Stephen King novels and his books usually come out right before my birthday. I had to politely ask everyone to not buy me the new Stephen King because one year I got like 5 of the same book. So not a terrible book but too many of a good thing.

  • BitterStatus9@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    The book itself was great, my use of it in the first 30 seconds after opening the gift was questionable. I was about 10 years old and liked to learn unusual words and obscure vocabulary. A sibling bought me some book for Christmas, the title was something like DICTIONARY OF UNUSUAL WORDS AND OBSCURE VOCABULARY. The extended family (other siblings, aunts, uncles, my parents) were gathered around and someone said, “Go ahead, teach us a new word!”

    So I opened the book at random, saw a word I didn’t know, and (after looking carefully at the pronunciation key), announced, loudly:

    “COITUS.”

    Evidently, I was not the only person who didn’t know the word, because someone said, “Huh? What’s the definition?” Which I then read aloud. During the immediate and profoundly awkward silence, my mom suggested it was time for cookies and egg nog for everyone!

    This book was quickly set aside on the shelf and not consulted publicly again, that I can recall.

  • CttCJim@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    My mother got me The Secret once as a gift. The Secret is one of two things: irrational bullshit or dangerous black magic. (It’s the first one)

  • Leading_Actuator7218@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    My in laws got both me and my husband really nice travel guides for Alaska. I think we got 3 in all, covering everything you would want to enable you to plan the perfect trip regardless of budget. (The clever ones might see where this is going…) We were not, in fact, planning a trip to Alaska, nor did we have any interest in going. My in-laws were, though!

    If I’m interpreting it extremely generously, maybe they were trying to convince us to go with them and make it a family trip. We had already told them firmly no because besides not wanting to go to Alaska in the slightest, I was pregnant and not feeling like traveling.

    My mother in law also has gotten me Dawn dish soap and bulk red lentils for Christmas, and has given her son, my husband, saran wrap. So perhaps interpreting it generously isn’t warranted. 🤣

  • Thick_Management1363@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    My friends back in school knew I loved to read, but didn’t really care about what I liked to read.

    So when 50 shades came out, they decided to gift me the box-set. Usually, I’m opposed to book burning but I wanted to make an exception for this one. It was boke-rama.

  • justhereforbaking@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    I had a stint in eating disorder treatment right before Christmas one year as a teenager. A couple in my extended family, who I have little in common with and don’t know very well, got me an ENORMOUS book of “positive thinking” platitudes. Genuinely it was ~500 pages of the kind of corny quotes you see MLM types post on Instagram ripped from their original context. I tried to comb through it to find something of value but not a single quote meant anything to me. A lot of them were religious too, and I am not religious- the atheism of my immediate family is actually a huge source of drama in the extended family so that was awkward.

    I ended up giving it away to a book donation drive shortly after. They really did mean well and I appreciated the thought, but it also showcased the ignorance that my family had around the situation in an uncomfortable way…

    • Indifferent_Jackdaw@alien.topOPB
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      10 months ago

      God I hate that shit. I’ve had my own mental health issues and getting angry on my own behalf has dragged me out of more depressive holes that positivity ever did. I might do a self help book of my own. How to get angry and set boundaries by I Jackdaw.

      Very glad you survived your dangerous illness.

      • b00kdrg0n@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        I’d read that one, too. Positivity has its place, but that’s not the be all/end all.

    • Merky600@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      Side story: one friend’s father was recovering from Big C surgery and being grumpy. Someone gifted him “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handly. He laughed so hard he almost hurt himself.

      “It’s a shame how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.”

      • Charliesmum97@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        My favourite Jack Handy was ‘People think clowns are funny but I don’t. In fact, I think they’re kind of scary. I think it’s because when I was a child, a clown killed my dad.’

        Probably not remembering it exactly right but I laughed so much.

    • Melodic_Green_4740@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      At 13 I received The Ultimate Weight Solution for Teens by Jay McGraw (son of Dr. Phil) from a family friend. When I opened it they said “because you’re a teen now.” Apparently it was the best way to celebrate that. This was 2003ish so a toxic time for body talk but I remember thinking why tf should I have to thank them for this obviously rude gift? No one in my family acknowledged how weird it was and it sat on a shelf for years.

  • math-is-magic@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Not me, but my friend’s terrible father bought her a book about STD’s and a book about how to be a Proper Lady one year when she was like 10. Gag.

  • Pretty-Mycologist-17@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    My family knows not to gift me books unless I specifically ask for it, but a family member gifted me the box set of V.C. Andrews Flowers in the Attic series when I was like 11-12. That series is just awful, and I read it at such an impressionable age I still don’t know what they were thinking (or why I read all 4 of them)

    • jonashvillenc@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      That’s terrible. They’re all about incest. I guess my complaint of my mother giving me Nicholas Sparks books isn’t too valid.

      • Charliesmum97@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        Exactly what I was going to say! Weird rite of passage.

        I think we were all issued ‘Pink Floyd’s The Wall’ too.

      • MarieReading@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        Early Millennial and I totally read my mom’s copy. I’m pretty sure my friends did as well. Those got around for at least a decade! 😂

        • Silverpeony@alien.topB
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          10 months ago

          For a certain generation of girls born between 1975-1985, V.C. Andrews was a tween-age rite of passage.

          • Waussie@alien.topB
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            10 months ago

            It started much, much earlier than that. Flowers was published in 1979. I remember all of us girls freaking out in 9th grade Spanish class one day (1984) because the class clown was casually giving out spoilers to Seeds of Yesterday. (IYKYK)

  • headlesslady@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    No book at all. :( (Seriously, when I was a kid, they wouldn’t buy me books because “That’s not a present!”. Now that I’m an adult with grown kids, it’s “You work in a library, you don’t need it!” :stomps foot in temper:)

    I did get an inappropriate book for Christmas when I was 14 - my Dad bought me a Robert Heinlein box set (great!), which included “Stranger in a Strange Land” (awesome), and a book which included some of his more sexually-charged works. One featured incest! My dad eventually read them all, and I got a cryptic “If you read something you don’t understand, you come ask me, ok?” When I got to that book, I was horrified, paralyzed by the knowledge that my DAD knew exactly what I was reading. :laughing:

    • -SQB-@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      Robert Heinlein […] book which included some of his more sexually-charged works.

      That… doesn’t really narrow it down.

      One featured incest!

      Neither does this.

      • CttCJim@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        Haha okay that tracks. I haven’t read much Heinlein but I remember being very confused at the end of Time for the Stars when his brother’s granddaughter was like “Hi uncle time-dilation with pop-pop’s DNA. Welcome back to Earth. We’re getting married now.”

        “Sorry, what?”

        “I grew up trading your thoughts. It’s not incest if you’re psychic.”

  • Travelgrrl@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Mine’s not all that terrible, but I started dating a very nice (and somewhat wealthy) man a few weeks before Christmas. Since we were brand new, I’m sure I got him some thoughtful but inexpensive thing, and he gave me a book. A brand new, hardcover mystery book by Patricia Cornwell that he obviously had laying around and just grabbed. A book would have been a great gift but I don’t read mysteries (but felt obligated to read this one) and once we’d have been dating a little longer he would have been able to accurately gauge my reading tastes.

    We went out for years and he ended up being a stellar gift giver!

    • Ihavefluffycats@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      I’ve read a lot of her stuff and you either really like her or you don’t. There’s no middle ground.

        • Ihavefluffycats@alien.topB
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          10 months ago

          OMG! That’s one of the worst ones, as far as being gore filled. I learned about the body farm and that it’s a real place from that book.

          That is definitely NOT the book you’d normally give if your were trying to impress. 🤣

            • Ihavefluffycats@alien.topB
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              10 months ago

              I know! By the time she came out with her Ripper stuff, I wasn’t into her anymore. I watched the show she made about it though.

  • blueberry_pancakes14@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    It wasn’t specifically for me, so it only sort of applies.

    My local book club does a holiday party for our December gathering every year. We do a fun quiz on book-club related things and do a “steal the gift” exchange but with wrapped books.

    I fully admit I hate the “steal the gift” things anyway, I don’t like stealing the gifts, I always get skunked even when the stakes are low, and I just never enjoy it. But I participate every year because it’s simple and would be weird to be the only one not participating.

    It can be any book- a used one you found, one from your shelf, one you hated, etc. I DESPISE the “one you hated” part. Why would you do that to us? We’re supposed to be at least book club friends if not actual friends outside of this club.

    So one year I got One Thousand White Women by Jim Fergus, one we’d read in the group.
    The book we all collectively despised. The one we said we were against book burning, but might just have to make an exception for.

    But it was soooo freaking “funny” to put that in the blind grab bag for the steal the gift exchange.

    I’m not freaking laughing.

    Of course no one stole that piece of garbage from me, so I was stuck with it for the entire game and didn’t get any second chances.

    That was the year I stopped trying at all when selecting my book for the exchange. Previously I’d put a lot o f thought into it and had my selection get lukewarm at best reactions, but this was the icing on the cake, I was done. And it’s coming up again in a few weeks. I half put thought in to mine. A book in my give away pile already, but it’s a collection of Victorian ghost stories. The Victorian tradition of telling ghost stories at Christmas, so it fits. But they’re all hit or miss on old stuff, so I fully expect it to be a lukewarm at best reception. Oh well. I liked it, just won’t read it again, hence why it’s in my giveaway pile. It’s going to be out of my house, which is the goal, regardless, so I’m satisfied.

    • b00kdrg0n@alien.topB
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      10 months ago

      I’m sorry for the bad book, but the giveaway you’ve chosen for them sounds lovely. I’d give you a better than lukewarm reaction for that, FWIW. It’s cool that it ties into a tradition, as well. You deserve a better book club, frankly