Anyone else?

  • flyingjake@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    While I’m definitely one to get mildly irritated at the phrasing (and am even more irritated by “fur babies” lol), I’m really bothered by people excusing their own rudeness - right up there with saying “no offense” right before being deliberately offensive. Like if you don’t want to yuck my yum or cause offense then why are you about to do it anyway?

    • intensely_human
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      1 year ago

      The reason I say “no offense” is to indicate to you that my intention is something other than offending you.

      For example “no offense but your breath stinks. We should stop and get some mouthwash before we get to the party”

      I’m not saying that to make a person feel bad, though they will likely feel bad after I say it. I’m saying it to help them.

      I’m autistic, man. If the autistic kid can figure this stuff out so can you. No offense, but maybe you should consider things you don’t understand more deeply before tossing them in the waste bin.

      • flyingjake@lemmy.one
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        1 year ago

        Thanks for your comment, certainly there are people like yourself who mean those words earnestly to convey a delicate point. I also imagine that comes out in your demeanor and character when you are saying that to someone.

        Unfortunately, in my experience, many people say it without any sense of empathy or compassion at all despite the literal meaning. 😕

        • intensely_human
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          1 year ago

          I think people misinterpret it more than people use it as a cover for being mean.

    • livus@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I agree! I usually interrupt with “offense taken” before they get through their sentence.

      Either say it or don’t, but lets not pretend the disclaimer does anything other than act as a mild spoiler that they are about to say something edgy.

    • 121GiggleWhats@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You mean people with “no filter”, that if you couldn’t handle at their worst you don’t deserve them at their best?

    • Jerkface@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Between the lines of “I don’t want to” reads “I have to”, which is easily disputed if said out loud.