This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Abject-Banana336 on 2023-08-26 15:07:28+00:00.
I (28F) have worked with Kim (30F) for about three years. We’re managers at the same level, and we manage different (but related) teams. For the last year and a half she has been taking modern dance classes, and talks about it a lot at work (this will be important later).
Kim and I get along well most of the time. One thing that bugs me is that she volunteers me for things without running it by me first. For example, I’ll tell her I’m taking a weekend seminar on something, and then she’ll tell people that I will be doing a talk on this new thing I learned. I like sharing knowledge, but I don’t always have the time and energy for the extra work; I have told her this several times. She always says that she is trying to help me have a higher profile in the company.
We are having a big conference/team building thing at the end of September that Kim and I, our bosses and about 150 employees will be attending. It’s a multi-day event with training and roundtables, as well as some social events; Kim and I played a big part in the planning. Sure enough, Kim sent an email early last week to me, our directors, and a few other people saying that I had some really good insights on self-care strategies (we’d been talking about it casually the previous week) and luckily there would be time for me to give a brief presentation on them during lunch on the 27th. This was not discussed with me.
Here’s where I might be the AH. I replied-all to the email, saying, “For sure! And I’m so looking forward to the original interpretive dance inspired by our 2024 diversity strategy that Kim is going to perform during the conference closing festivities!” I thought this was an obvious sarcastic comment, but apparently not. Kim texted me immediately asking WTF I was talking about, and I wrote back, “Oh, should I have checked with you before signing you up for that? My bad.” Unfortunately, her boss did not understand that I was joking, and replied to the email saying that he was really impressed that she was bringing such creativity to the conference, and that he looked forward to seeing it.
Long story short, Kim is now freaking out because she does not have an interpretive dance based on our diversity strategy prepared, she doesn’t want to do such a dance in front of 150 people, and she doesn’t feel like she can back out since her boss likes the idea. I offered to own up to the fact that I was making a sarcastic joke, but she doesn’t want me to. I have apologized but I have to admit that I was laughing a bit while I did it, because this is ridiculous. If the consensus is that I’m the AH, I will pay for her new leotard and buy her drinks at the conference.