• umad_cause_ibad
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      1 year ago

      Depending which religion you worship your heaven might already be at max occupancy.

      • scarabic@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Oh, are there religions who believe their afterlife is already full and is now closed? That’s pretty grim.

        • Tavarin@lemmy.ca
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          1 year ago

          Jehovah’s Witnesses believe heaven has a capacity of 144,000 and everyone else will be resurrected in a body of flesh.

        • negativenull
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          1 year ago

          Jehovah’s Witness claim only 144,000 total can go to heaven. For a group that claims 8ish million members, that’s a small percentage of even themselves that can make it.

            • HandwovenConsensus
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              1 year ago

              Nah. One of the very few things to the JW’s credit, they don’t believe in Hell. The worthy will be resurrected on an earth-turned-paradise, where they live as subjects of the 144,000, while the rest simply cease to exist.

  • Wogi@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Good news if you’re short! Do whatever tf you want, your fate is sealed anyway.

    • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I half remember a Harlan Ellison story where God decided that only man can judge man and put the religious leaders in power to get to determine who goes to heaven. So all the Screaming Mullahs and Pat Robertson types are running things. Harlan Ellison was an angry person.

  • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    And I am the bad guy for yelling at someone for telling my daughters about hell. Yes, me the father. I am a bad person for telling someone to stop lying to my kids about a fake place of pain.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Sorta both. It really pissed me off. Going up to my six year old and telling her if she is bad she will be thrown into fire. Sick deranged fucks in the world.

          • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Thanks at least someone is. I do play nice with other parents. My eldest daughter had a playdate with a friend of hers that happens to be Muslim, so I ordered out from a hallal restaurant.

            Don’t tell my kid about your lying bullshit and I won’t tell your kid that they aren’t going to see grandma in heaven.

            If it has just been something boring like “Jesus lies you” I would have let it go.

  • linuxgator@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    “You must be this tall to enter heaven.” Written on a wood cutout of St Peter holding his hand out just so high.

  • teuast@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    i got a scar tattooed over in 2021 and have several more scars i’d like to do the same with, i’m currently sitting here drinking and being under 6’, and also i don’t believe in heaven so i’m super fucked. who’s with me

  • Efwis@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    Funny how we can’t go to heaven for all these “sins” and yet the Bible stars that Jesus died for all out sins before they happen.

    Once again the Bible is proven as a joke. I hate how they believe the fairy tales in the book, but they won’t believe what is right in front of there eyes. Friggin bigots.

    • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
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      1 year ago

      I pity them. The ones that actually believe that is.

      If they could park their faith for just one minute and think clearly, they’d realise what’s up.

      Their leaders that actually take their Lord’s name in vain? Predators. Grifters. Charlatans.

      • Efwis@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        Don’t forget the pedophiles that work in the Catholic Church as priest they take a vow of celibacy so they think they can groom and rape the little boys.

        And yet they think their going to heaven as they preach. Sick perverts. Like they said on that one episode of the Simpsons. God pointed out to homer that the clergy members aren’t allowed in heaven.

  • Furbag@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    At this point, it sounds like heaven will only be full of boring prudes. Hell is where the party is at.