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Mood Spoiler: baffling but OOP turns out ok

Original Post: June 25, 2024

I am a wedding photographer and I have currently come across my first wedding that I am considering cancelling. I booked the wedding several months ago, in February and we talked on the phone once then.

They said that they had a general area that they wanted to film in, but not an exact location. I said that would be fine if they kept me up to date. They also never gave me an exact time.

I messaged them throughout the coming months and never got replies or updates. I contacted them again on the 10th of June, the wedding is on the 30th, and still no reply.

So, I contacted another vendor they are working with. According to that vendor, they have completely changed plans, moving the wedding to a location 3 hours away, at 5am, and with a 2 mile hike to the location. I have had no confirmation from the wedding party.

I was never able to get them to sign a contract stating the deliverables or the price, but they did pay me in advance. Would I be overreacting to cancel the wedding plans last minute? (the wedding is 5 days from now, I didn’t want to cancel but now I feel I have no choice. What if I drive 3 hours to find that they changed locations yet again?)

I would at least partially refund them if not fully refund them. But AIO? Any advice?

Relevant Comments (from both subs):

Commenter: I think you are NTA if you are being honest. They should have the decency to tell you any changes to the plan. I understand that they may be stressed with the planning but they should have responded to you reaching out!

OOP: they have sent me one message that says “the plan hasn’t changed” - but I don’t know what the plan was in the first place! and if i’m to believe the other vendor, it sounds like it has changed quite a bit…

Commenter: I would cancel. What other option do you have really. Wait around for a last minute call to be told location… did they pay enough for all of the time (6 hours of driving etc etc)?

OOP: No, travel was never accounted for because I was under the impression that the venue was an hour away. At this point, the amount of driving is longer than the wedding time I was booked for (4 hours).

Commenter gives a detailed response:

I think this is what I will do - thank you for the detailed response. I like that you mentioned travel arrangements as well because on our initial phone call they mentioned something about a ferry ride through the park. They haven’t provided any more detail on that either, like should I have bought myself a ticket? Would they provide one for me? Is it still even happening? etc. The other vendor gave me a very sketchy timeline of events, stating that the 2 miles hike was time stamped for 10 minutes. So I’m sure you’re right that if we didn’t get up the hike on time they would blame it all on me 😅

Update in Comments: June 26, 2024 (Next Day)

Update: I just sent the bride a text (she never gave me her email) and a refund through venmo. I’m sad to see the money go, but relieved to not be apart of this fiasco anymore. Here’s the message I sent the bride:

Hi Bride, Given my multiple attempts to contact you and the fact that I have not received crucial information about your wedding, including the exact location, time, and schedule, and we are less than a week out from your wedding date, I unfortunately have to treat this as a de facto cancellation. I have been in contact with your other vendor and the information that they have provided me on the wedding does not match what we discussed over the phone. I have contacted you several times asking for more detail and I have been met with no response. With the lack of information and communication, I cannot safely perform my job. I cannot be sure that the information that I have is accurate and so I can no longer attend. I’ll be sending you a full refund since this cancellation is so last minute and I wish you the best. Thanks,

Thanks to everyone for the advice, if she ever replies to me I’ll post another update.

OOP clarifies:

I’m the second shooter, they hired two. The other photographer is also planning the whole wedding/ officiating so they don’t have time to capture everything

Update 2 in Comments: June 26, 2024 (Less than 1 hour later)

Update 2: She immediately called me (funny since she’s never replied this quickly before) and left me a voicemail apologizing and begging for me to reconsider. She said she still hasn’t finalized the location but is asking her other vendor tonight. I guess the other vendor is also the wedding planner and has planned everything (sort of). They offered me more money and to call to explain everything over the phone.

They also said they didn’t respond to my messages because they’ve been out of the country. So, I gave them a detailed list of everything I would need if I were to reconsider them as a client and said that if we verbally agreed they would HAVE TO sign a contract or I would not show up. I also want them to accommodate me for travel fees. So, if they call me back by 5pm today with all of the details I asked for and an increased payment plan, I’m going to reconsider taking the job. I still want the money and the experience, so if they can accommodate me I’ll do what I can.

OOP comments on the OG contract:

I was way too forgiving about the contract thing, I sent it to them several times and just figured they were busy with other wedding plans so that’s why I put off cancelling for so long. I was just way too accommodating ig 😰 i posted two updates btw

Update 3 in Comments: June 27, 2024 (Next Day, 2 days from OG post)

Update 3: They doubled the amount and paid for a hotel near the venue. I’m morbidly curious to see how this whole thing turns out, so I’m going. I sent them a contract that says if I can’t find them out there, I’m leaving and keeping the payment. Also told them if they don’t sign the contract by the day before the wedding, I’m not going and I’m not giving back any of the money (which they have already given me).

The wedding is taking place by a lake near the hiking trail, they insist we won’t be hiking the full 45 minute trail (also worked that into the contract, if they make me hike more than 20 minutes with all my stuff I’m stopping right there). There’s going to be a ferry ride across the lake after the ceremony.

Also looked into their other photographer/wedding planner and they’ve been plagiarizing all of the work on their website. The photos they show are all square space default photos and photos from other copyright free websites. So I won’t be surprised if they’re being completely scammed and I get to leave anyway.

So anyway, I think my butt is covered now. I’ll give updates after the wedding.

Final Update in Comments: July 1, 2024 (4 days later, 6 from OG post)

Final (hopefully) update: As a gesture of good will they booked me a hotel. When I looked up directions to the hotel, it was in a town 4 hours away from the venue. They clearly had no idea where anything was in relation to their venue. So obviously I didn’t stay there. All the hotels that were near their venue were booked so I ended up driving out to the venue at 2am to get to the wedding at 5am. I was the first person there, the sun was already rising btw. Actually, the sun rises around 3:45. They wanted a sunrise wedding, but ig they didn’t actually look up what time the sun rises here and just assumed 5am. The wedding party arrived at 5:30. We couldn’t do anything until the wedding planner/photographer arrived because no one knew where the actual ceremony was supposed to take place. The planner arrived at 5:45.

The ceremony was actually really beautiful, it’s too bad the planner stood in front of my tripod the entire time. I got footage on my handheld, but it would have been nice to have usable tripod footage. The planner also turned off the mic I had placed to capture the vows. I don’t know why she thought she could touch my stuff without permission, but that was super cool.

Also, weird thing, she kept taking pictures of her feet? Like constantly. I’d be working and she’d be taking another foot pic. idk man

The bride and groom asked me to follow them to another location for a ferry ride. They told me it would be a 10 minute drive, it was an hour drive. I was well within my rights to turn around a quit now that I had my contract, but I was feeling nice a…

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Bride won’t give me wedding location/AIO for cancelling my wedding involvement?

Bride won’t give me wedding location/AIO for cancelling my wedding involvement?

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