• wise_pancake@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    9 months ago

    Wouldn’t the Y chromosome come from God, and that’s where Jesus inherited this magic from?

    Although Mary just went straight to heaven without dying, so maybe she had some magic in her genes…

    All I know is the earth is definitely older than the sun.

  • Norgur@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    9 months ago

    Thing is… God’s spunk is so mighty, it can get you pregnant through the back door, baby.

  • Vilian@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    9 months ago

    the end lmao

    btw artificial insemination still keep the person “virgin”?, if so, god may have did that i guess lol

    • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      I’m very sorry, but the first thought that popped into my head is of Mary opening up, going “alright if you get it in this time it’s 50 points!”.
      “He shoots he scores!”

      I can’t imagine they’d have turkey basters in those days.

    • A lot of fun is had among Catholic teens who get sloppy with their outercourse, and boyfriend’s sperm navigates from the inner labia down through the canal and into the uterus.

      Then the girl and her doctor get to have giggles over an intact corona and an actively progressing pregnancy.

  • rickyrigatoni
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    9 months ago

    So only people with turner syndrome should be pope. Got it.

    • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      9 months ago

      growing up in that time with Turner syndrome would have made for a very empathetic individual, and could very well have been the lynch pin to her teachings.

      • ApostleO@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        9 months ago

        What about Timmy Turner?

        I feel like having fairy god parents would make pope duties a lot easier. Make his blessings a bit more potent.

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          9 months ago

          Ok, him, Tina Turner and Detective Scott Turner of & Hooch fame, but no more! Under no circumstances must Ted Turner or anyone related to him be allowed to pope around.

  • Cosmicomical@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    9 months ago

    Since she was supposedly human, the only X chromosomes theory is the most solid. Unless the holy ghost was not so ghost and had a more material way to make mary pregnant.

  • Sakura
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    9 months ago

    Man, it took me 20 minutes to understand this shit. Must be cuz I am no native speaker, not that I am just stupid

    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      Its apologetics 101. Start with the presupposition that the bible is correct, then find any way to make it not conflict with itself or with observations. Mary was a virgin, Jesus is male, only lizards can do that, the Bible doesn’t say she wasn’t a lizard, and yay we did an apologetics!

  • db2@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    13
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    How do they get their own story wrong? His mom wasn’t the virgin, he had at least one sibling. It’s her that was born of a virgin, in other words jebus’ granny was supernaturally told to gfy and did it so well she’s made a clone called Mary.

    Edit: somebody mad lol

    • forrgott
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      9 months ago

      Literally never heard of this. Besides, “their story” is exactly that. The story they made up/went with.

    • lunarul@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      9 months ago

      Her pregnancy came through the Holy Spirit. She was not married at the time and Joseph wanted to leave her when he heard she’s pregnant (but an angel explained to him in a dream what is going on). That’s the story according to the Bible, so not sure what you’re talking about.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      9 months ago

      That’s not what Catholics or orthodoxes believe and considering it’s hard to find a take on Christianity that isn’t held by any Protestant group I’m not likely to believe any of them as the word on Christianity.

      Catholic doctrine is that Mary was a virgin who today we would consider a child/adolescent who was married but not consummated with a laborer descendant of David. She was asked by an Angel to bear Jesus and accepted without hesitation. And she remained a virgin until she ascended to heaven body and soul at the end of her life.

      • atrielienz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        9 months ago

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception#:~:text=Popular devotion and Ineffabilis Deus,-The eventual creation&text=1303–1373)%20told%20how%20Mary,and%20free%20of%20sexual%20lust.

        "Popular devotion and Ineffabilis Deus

        The eventual creation of the dogma was due more to popular devotion than scholarship.[34] The Immaculate Conception became a popular subject in literature and art,[6] and some devotees went so far as to hold that Anne had conceived Mary by kissing her husband Joachim, and that Anne’s father and grandmother had likewise been conceived without sexual intercourse, although Bridget of Sweden (c. 1303–1373) told how Mary herself had revealed to her that Anne and Joachim conceived their daughter through a sexual union which was sinless because it was pure and free of sexual lust.[35]"

      • db2@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        8
        ·
        9 months ago

        It’s the “original” that people misunderstand repeatedly to the point they think it’s a different story.

        • nonfuinoncuro
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          9 months ago

          I mean at this point you guys are arguing which Harry Potter x Twilight furry crossover fanfic is more realistic so… knock yourselves out?